


I'll Prove to You (and myself too)

by RenegadeGirl27



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Blood and Violence, F/F, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Kidnapped Lena Luthor, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Needs Therapy, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Kara Danvers, Slow Burn Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, they both need hugs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:54:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 38,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26314510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RenegadeGirl27/pseuds/RenegadeGirl27
Summary: She was selfish. Lena decided of herself. If she wasn’t, she would have let Kara go. She would have put distance between them in order to protect her. But she was determined not to lose the happiness she had found. So she wouldn’t admit to the knowledge she had. If Kara could carry this burden then she could carry it too. She would carry it. The alternative wasn’t acceptable.---That's it. That's the summary.
Relationships: Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 37
Kudos: 178





	1. Old New Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> Here's some trash but it's my trash so please be nice to my trash, thank you. Critiques welcome :)  
> Regular text is present time, italics are flashbacks.  
> Disclaimer: I do not own these characters or the show.

Lena Luthor had long since lost any idea of what time it was as she bent over the schematics strewn across her desk. The design was the only thing occupying her mind at the moment. It was perfect. Flawless even.

_So why isn’t it working?_

Lena leaned back in her chair for a moment, giving some respite to her aching neck by rubbing her fingers into the base.

The prototype technology was a contact lens designed to receive visual stimuli and transmit the corresponding image to an implantable receiver capable of reproducing the image within the brain. Essentially, high enough prescription lenses to give the blind back their sight.

 _Except it’s a pipe dream._ Lena scolded herself.

Lena wasn’t religious but she supposed her attempt at healing the blind was considered a sacrilegious endeavor at playing God. That wouldn’t stop her from trying, of course.

The sun had dipped beneath the horizon, painting the white walls of her office with a soft orange light that began to turn to something darker. But it wasn’t the change in lighting that had signaled the current time to the L-Corp CEO. It was instead, the appearance of her assistant Jess who popped into her office, honorably attempting to convince the brunette to at least try and get an acceptable amount of sleep that night.

“Yeah, I’ll do that.” Lena nodded absently, barely offering her assistant her full attention. “You enjoy your weekend, Jess.”

To which Jess responded with an amused look “It’s Monday, Ms. Luthor. The weekend has already passed.” She found it admirable that her boss got so passionately wrapped up in her work that she would lose track of anything else, but she also found it sad. Knowing Lena had probably spent the entire weekend moving between her lab and her office, hardly giving herself a break to get any decent amount of rest.

“Right, sorry Jess. I’ll see you tomorrow then I suppose.” Lena sighed as she leaned back over the diagrams before her. _Maybe I need to recheck the calibration for the sensor?_ Lost once again in the project, Lena missed her assistant calling out goodnight as she re-closed the office door on her way out.

* * *

_Lena couldn’t help how her brain was wired. Once she set her mind to a project she had to follow it through, whether it ended in success or failure. She simply had to explore it fully. Her curiosity was boundless and her mind thrived on the challenge. There had been a time when she was younger when she had wondered what it would be like to be not so different from her peers. But even compared to the other students at the fancy private boarding schools that her mother had sent her away to- the ones that claimed to only accept exceptionally gifted academic students- she still stood out at the top. It was a very lonely way to grow up. Every once and awhile she would fall back into those memories, and in her head she would hear the voice of her mother, chastising her for the absurdity of sentimentality. Work had always been a distraction from her loneliness, so she embraced it. It had also been the only way that she had been able to get any positive attention from her adoptive family. It had been ingrained in her throughout her childhood. Be the best. Anything less was not acceptable, to the Luthor matriarch especially._

_So for all her life Lena had chased the acceptance of the people who had taken her in and the respect of her adoptive brother._

_That was, until her brother tried to turn the sun red._

_After that she stopped trying to prove herself to her family. She was too busy trying to prove herself to the rest of the world now, thanks to them. Her last name had anchored her to their stigma of xenophobia. So Lena decided to change that stigma. Starting with Luthor-Corp. But she couldn’t do it from Metropolis. Her family had already done too much damage there. The citizens weren’t receptive to a rebrand of the company, not yet anyway. So Lena left to rebuild the company- her company- from the ground up in National City. And she would use it to be a force for good. Despite her family’s heritage._

_Lena had never felt more alone than when she had first arrived in National City. Everyone had already formed their own opinions of her. She was a Luthor. What more did they need to know about her to judge her? In public Lena ignored them, slipping on the mask of feigned indifference that she had become so used to wearing. Privately, she drove herself into her work to prove her worth through actions, not words. Words were merely vibrations through the air. Rarely did people convey their true meaning through them, so Lena didn’t trust them. Not until she met Kara Danvers._

_When the blonde reporter had stepped into her office for the first time, Lena had been her usual guarded self. Always on defense, prepared to be roped in with the rest of her family and accused of lunacy. After all, Kara Danvers was a reporter. A natural enemy to her by this point. But she had agreed to the interview for the good of the company. She was re-branding the company: L-Corp. Hoping to drop some of the negative connotations that had become adhered to the Luthor name. But as the interview progressed she found her guard slipping. Kara was the most earnest person she had ever met in her entire life. It was refreshing. Those sparkling blue eyes had reflected no judgement of Lena’s past, only encouragement and understanding. In truth it had unnerved her how quickly this complete stranger had managed to disarm her without evening meaning to it would seem. After the article was published Kara stopped by her office with a copy for her._

_“You should start a scrap book.” The reporter had smiled, adjusting her glasses higher on her nose. “You’re going to do amazing things for the city, not to mention the world. It would be a shame to miss a moment of it.”_

_Lena couldn’t remember the last time someone had made her smile so hard that her cheeks ached._

_But in true Lena Luthor fashion she had implemented her fail-safe of maintaining a professional distance from Kara afterwards. Having weighed the potential outfall of that friendship against the benefits, she found it was a risk she was unwilling to take. And it had worked for a while. Until Kara asked for a follow up interview some weeks later and she found herself agreeing. As much as she tried to deny it to herself, she wanted to see those eyes again. Those eyes that regarded her as more than her family’s legacy. Eyes that saw her, making a name for herself in world that had already written her off._

_Each subsequent interview sent Lena’s fail-safe plan crashing into the ground. Apparently Kara had been roped into helping cover the business and technology sections at CatCo Worldwide Media on top of her usual workload._

_“I’m almost certain that there are more sources aside from myself you could go to for information.” Lena had casually mentioned after the third time Kara had set up an appointment with her to gather some background research._

_“I should tell you, once a journalist gets a good, trustworthy, and truly knowledgeable source it’s hard to let go of it.” Kara chuckled. “It’s a rarer find than you might think.”_

_“Well then, I suppose I’m stuck with you.”_

_It was meant to be a joke but the flash of guilt in Kara’s eyes made Lena regret her words. Lena Luthor, who directed meeting after meeting with groups of the most influential people in the world, always seemed to fall short in casual one on one conversation. It’s why she didn’t have many friends…any friends really, if she was being honest with herself._

_“I’m sorry to bother you, I could-“_

_“No. You don’t bother me.” Lena interrupted. “I’m happy to be your source, really. After all, if you weren’t asking these questions to me you’d be asking people like Maxwell Lord. And well, I wouldn’t be able to sit idly by and watch CatCo publish the utter nonsense he spews.”_

_Kara laughed. That infectious giddy chuckle that Lena had come to enjoy hearing so much that she nearly craved it. Nearly._

_She still held herself back. A few months in National City and dare she say she had made a friend in Kara Danvers. They exchanged numbers and soon enough they would meet for lunch ‘interviews’ which would turn out to be just informal lunches, and then coffee. And then the real test… Game Night. Kara had to reassure the brunette that her competitive nature would make her an excellent addition to Kara’s team and was not the negative drawback that she had expressed it to be. After that there were dinners and movie nights and sleep overs and there was no going back. Lena found herself, for the first time in her life, with a true friend. Someone that she could confide in when projects failed or bounce ideas off of when she needed something new to work on. If she was being honest with herself, Lena would admit that she had become quite enamored with the blonde reporter, but she didn’t dare act on it. She had come to cherish their friendship too much to put it in jeopardy. So she pushed away the feelings and simply enjoyed their closeness._

_At least until the issues with Supergirl began…_

* * *

Hours had passed by unnoticed until her desk phone rang, startling her out of the calculations she was reworking. Her irritation at being interrupted quieted itself as she noticed the call was coming in from building security. She pressed the speakerphone button to accept.

“Yes?”

“Ms. Luthor, sorry to bother you but there’s been a package delivery.” Tony, her trusted head of night security informed her.

“At this hour? I haven’t express ordered anything for the labs.” Lena’s brow furrowed.

Lab equipment orders were not something that she forgot. She might lose track of the days but never lab equipment, if it was essential to the project she knew exactly when to expect it.

“Right, I checked the log of expected deliveries and came up with nothing myself either. I went ahead and ran it through the security checks and it came back clean. Do you want me to bring it up?” Tony was by now well-versed in the strict security protocols that Lena had insisted on within the building. And he didn’t blame her for them. He knew first hand that the Luthor last name had attracted its fair share of- well, enemies was a strong word- but yes, enemies.

“Yes, go ahead.” Lena ended the call and turned to her computer, pulling up her access to the security feed.

Receiving packages this late at night wasn’t completely unusual, even if she hadn’t been expecting them. There had been a handful of them in the past, nothing ever harmful. Usually they had been from colleagues, gifts of thanks and tokens of appreciation for her help with a project of theirs. But somewhere in the back of her mind, flags were being raised.

Everything on the security video recording seemed normal when she replayed the arrival of the delivery man. No shifty behavior there, and no extreme professionalism either, which in itself could have been a sign of something more organized. She fast forwarded to present time and watched as Tony pushed a delivery cart into the elevator. On top of the cart rested a black case. It wasn’t large enough to warrant the use of a delivery cart, so it must be quite heavy despite its appearance, Lena figured.

Her wariness grew.

Still she cleared off her desk and moved to open her office door, allowing Tony to wheel the cart up to her desk and lift the box, with some effort, onto it.

“Thank you, Tony.” She dismissed him, her eyes locked onto the crate now. It was about the size of a regular brief case and examining the side that faced her, she could make out a handle that supposedly retracted into the siding of the case.

 _So the casing itself must be thick for the handle to retract._ She observed.

“Are you sure Ms. Luthor?” Tony was also eyeing the case, his face showing obvious suspicion.

“Yes. You can return to your duties.”

 _If it is a bomb, there’s no sense in vaporizing the both of us when I open it_. She mused to herself, only mildly concerned that the object truly was some type of weapon of mass destruction.

As Tony left, she gave herself the time she knew it would take him to reach the ground floor lobby where, if an explosion does occur, she hoped he and the other security guards will be able to vacate the building before it collapsed. While she waited she circled her desk slowly, eyes never leaving the case as she expertly examined the exterior. Besides her initial observation regarding the thickness of the case, her next conclusion made was that the material, while darkly metallic, appeared to have a coating. Daring to scratch her fingernail along one corner she confirmed her suspicion as the dark paint gave way to reveal the true metal beneath it. Lead.

The realization sent her thoughts immediately to the resident Kryptonian of National City. Whoever sent this package had taken deliberate care to make sure that Supergirl would not be able to see whatever was inside of it.

_Well that can’t be good._

Lena could now practically smell the involvement of her mother and brother on the case sitting on her desk. Whatever was inside probably wasn’t meant to kill her. Despite the bad blood between them, Lex had never tried to harm her, even after she had testified against him in court. And being that her mother had never come after her for it either, Lena inferred that he had ordered Lillian not to. Her mother, who never let her forget even for a second how she had betrayed the family that took her in, would have only offered her mercy if Lex had asked for it on her behalf.

Still, if they were sending her a lead case, she couldn’t imagine anything beneficial being inside of it.

She contemplated calling Kara immediately. But decided against it, not until she knew what was in the case. Her gut was already telling her what she would find, and if she was right, she wouldn’t want Kara anywhere near this thing.

* * *

_Upon Lena’s arrival in National City, Supergirl had waited a full three days before she arrived on the balcony of Lena’s office one night. She had waited patiently for Lena to open the sliding patio door to allow her in._

_“I was wondering when you’d show up. But most visitors have to make an appointment, you know.” Lena had greeted her and instantly regretted her words. She probably should have been showing the upmost kindness to the superhero in order to distance herself from the bad blood of her namesake._

_“Sorry, I hope I’m not interrupting your evening. I just thought I should introduce myself.” Supergirl’s cautious smile had been tinged with guilt._

_Lena had scripted an entire conversation for this moment before she had even come to National City. She had planned for this inevitability. She would be gracious but not spineless. She had done nothing wrong and would refuse to act as though she was a criminal._

_“I don’t suppose you mean to tell me your actual name?” It was meant to be a joke, something to break the tension that was already building in the air. Unfortunately it didn’t seem to settle that way. She caught the tightening of the muscles around Supergirl’s eyes and before she could gracefully backpedal the Kryptonian was raising her chin in a mightier-than-thou stance._

_“No, I won’t be, Ms. Luthor. And I hope that won’t become an issue between us.” Supergirl’s tone was firm but not accusing._

_Lena regarded the super for a moment. The symbol of her family crest displayed proudly from her suit. A family legacy that she should be proud of. One of truth and honor and all things good._

_It wasn’t fair, Lena found herself thinking. That her family had stuck her with this aura of guilt and Supergirl’s had bestowed her with one of pride._

_But life isn’t fair, is it? Not for anyone. So stop being so prideful and suck it up, Lena._

_“No, of course not- I…” Clearing her throat, Lena gathered herself. “Please accept my apology. I didn’t mean to start off this way. I know that my family is responsible for many things. Horrific acts that targeted your cousin. And although I never played a hand in those acts, I know it’s only natural for you to be suspicious of me. I hold nothing against you, Supergirl. But I will understand if you hold my name against me. I only hope that in time, you’ll find that I am quite different from my family.”_

_There, it was all out in the open. Lena brushed off the lingering shame, thinking of how her mother would have disowned her for such a display of submission. Meeting Supergirl’s eyes once more, she had found surprise there, and then guilt._

_“Ms. Luthor, I believe we might both have made assumptions to start us off on the wrong foot here. After all, I should have made an appointment.” The Kyrptonian’s lips pulled into something of a half-smile. “Perhaps it’s not too late for us to start over?” The blonde reached out a hand which Lena grasped with her own and in the back of her mind Lena had marveled at the fact she could not detect a hint of the true strength the woman before her was capable of._

_“Hello, I’m Supergirl. I’ve heard of the amazing things Luthor Corp has been doing since you’ve taken over as CEO. I have every confidence that your success will continue.” The half-smile transformed into a full and bright one._

_“Thank you, Supergirl. I’m Lena Luthor, and I look forward to us both doing our part to help National City prosper. You’ve done some great work here already.” Lena responded, feeling somewhat silly about having restated her own full name._

_After their first meeting they had given each other space. Each respecting the other’s work from afar for a while before they gradually began to work together. It was small things at first. Supergirl would show up at her office with a hypothetical question regarding the cababilities of certain types of alien technology. Then the hero began to ask Lena to analyze some alien technology that had appeared on the black market, or help her track the chemical signature of an alien gone rogue. Lena never asked for anything in return. She simply enjoyed the exposure to foreign technologies that she was receiving, broadening her knowledge and inspiring future projects._

_Then the DEO found out about the Luthor kryptonite stash. And everything began to spiral._

_An incident involving red kyrptonite had sparked her retrieval of the compound from her underground storage bunker just outside of the city. She didn’t want to use it, truly. But if the situation got any worse, she would be forced to. She prepared for the worst, as anyone should do so in a catastrophe, and crafted a laser gun designed to harness a concentrated dose of kryptonite into its beam. Just enough to only disarm the Kryptonian. She had entrusted it to Agent Danvers, the only DEO operative she believed would act responsibly enough with the weapon as she knew her to be Kara’s adoptive sister. And if Kara was friends with Supergirl, then her sister would be sure to take care of the hero and not harm her any more than what was necessary._

_It had worked perfectly. Knocking Supergirl unconscious just in time to stop her from hurting any innocent people. The DEO then confiscated the laser gun and demanded that Lena surrender any remaining kryptonite. She refused, unwilling to allow a clandestine government agency take complete control of such a substance. When Supergirl awoke, she had sided with the DEO. Wanting the kryptonite to be under the guard of the organization. For the second time, Lena was forced to swallow her pride. She was right and she knew it. But she also knew what would happen if she didn’t comply. She would be branded a “Luthor lunatic” just like her brother. Supergirl had lost trust in her already just from her revealing the hidden kryptonite. She couldn’t make it worse by refusing to hand it over. Even Kara had sided with Supergirl on the issue. Lena should have realized then what that meant. If she wasn’t so blinded by her emotions she would have._

_But regardless of her convictions, Lena surrendered the kryptonite._

_As she had stood at the mouth of her storage bunker, watching the DEO vans drive to who-knows-where with a compound that had unexplored potential, Supergirl had thanked her for her decision. But Lena had shrugged off the hand that the super had placed on her shoulder. She was tired of forcing herself to be small just to prove she wasn’t a threat._

_“Nothing I did was wrong. I never had any intention to use the kryptonite against you in any situation accept the one that just occurred. My brother was wrong about a lot of things. But not about everything. No one should be invincible, it’s too dangerous to leave power unchecked. Look at what just happened, Supergirl. You nearly destroyed National City! And I know you didn’t mean to. But the point is that you’re capable of it. And if someone gains control of you like that again… Well you better hope you can trust the DEO to make the right call about how much force to use against you.” Lena could hear the bitterness in her own voice. Could practically taste it on her tongue as she spat those words. She didn’t give Supergirl a moment to respond, although it seemed as though the hero wouldn’t have been able to muster a suitable response if she’d had the time. Lena had stalked back to her car, not bothering to look back as she called over her shoulder. “I hope this favor was worth it, Supergirl. Because it’s the last one you’ll have from me.”_

_The radio silence that had ensued between the two lasted for several months. During which, Kara had tried repeatedly to console her._

_“I think you both made choices you regret.” The blonde told her one night as they shared a bottle of wine. “And I think, if you gave her a chance, she would really like to make up for what happened. Supergirl trusts you Lena.”_

_“No she doesn’t.” The brunette scoffed before tipping her glass back and draining it just a little too quickly. “If she trusted me, she wouldn’t have had an issue with me keeping the kryptonite. Instead she sided with the DEO.”_

_“Lena, did you ever consider that maybe it wasn’t you that she didn’t trust, but other people?” Kara’s eyes probed hers._

_“What do you mean?”_

_“I mean, things get stolen, Lena. And I know you must have so many safeguards in place to protect your technology, but don’t you think that, just maybe, the DEO has more protection for it than you? It’s the same reason she doesn’t tell anyone her identity. I think it’s her way of protecting you…What if someone wanted the kryptonite to use it against her? If they found out you had it, they’d come after you for it. I know you won’t want to hear this, but I’m glad you don’t have it anymore. I don’t want you put in danger for Supergirl’s problems. If something happened to you- I- well, I’d be a mess.” Kara had given her hand a small squeeze but didn’t meet her eyes at the admission. For her part, Lena felt as though she was practically shaking and she worried Kara would feel it, so she slowly withdrew from her grasp, leaning back into the couch with a sigh, shaking her head. Emotions were exhausting. She had let herself become too attached to things recently. She was losing her ability to view things objectively. She had found herself uttering the words she spent her entire life avoiding._

_“I don’t know… I just- I don’t know anything, I guess.”_

* * *

Approaching the case with conviction, she unclasped the top and flipped it upwards before she could lose her nerve. Her fear was confirmed as she was met with the sight of the green compound that had been carefully secured within. The kryptonite mirrored the lights of her office, casting green reflections dancing across the walls. Next to the kryptonite rested a small notecard.

_Hold onto this for me, won’t you? – Lex_

Even if he hadn’t signed it, Lena would have recognized the neat penmanship of the madman. She examined the alien mineral now that she had confirmed its sender. It appeared no different than the kryptonite she had worked with before. The same dark emerald green hue and crystallized structure, it had no obvious markings of having been tampered with. It glittered beneath her scrutinizing gaze before she snapped the case closed briskly. Lena’s eyes darted to the large windows behind her desk. See-through walls really. Her eyes scanned outside but could pick up nothing unusual in the darkness and no detectable difference in the twinkling city lights. Still, she reached for the button that would bring down her black-out privacy shades. Not that she would be staying in her office, but perhaps if someone was watching-which she wouldn’t put it past Lex to have someone doing just that- they would assume she had stayed. Shoving the heavy lead case back onto the delivery cart she headed for her private elevator. Swiping her keycard for access, punching in the 14 digit code, and submitting to a retina scan to verify. She had to take this to her personal lab. It would be safer there. And there were tests to be done.

* * *

_Eventually, Lena had asked Kara to get in touch with Supergirl for her. Besides the fact that her sister worked with Supergirl, as a reporter, Kara had managed to snag exclusive interviews with National City’s superhero, she was perhaps one of the only people in the city that knew how to reach the Kryptonian, along with her government agent sister. Her best friend had been right. She had been blinded by pride and self-importance._

_By the time Supergirl landed on her balcony that evening, Lena had prepared her speech. Carefully she would eat her words, saving as much face as she could along the way. What she had not been expecting was for the Kryptonian to offer her an apology first before she could begin her own. Supergirl’s explanation of her actions had been exactly what Kara had predicted._

_“I trust you and I deeply value your contributions to the missions of the DEO and myself, Ms. Luthor. You’re too valuable to me for me to place you in danger. I’m sorry I didn’t explain that before.” And then Lena noticed Supergirl reach for her face, playing it off as brushing some hair behind her ear, but Lena saw it for what the action was. A nervous habit she was all too familiar witnessing. Supergirl had been reaching to adjust her glasses._

_Glasses that weren’t there anymore._

_The Kryptonian’s next words were lost to her as her mind reeled hidden behind her well-practiced mask of indifference._

_Kara Danvers is Supergirl. Supergirl is Kara Danvers. She stood shell shocked before the woman in front of her. How had she not seen it before? How blind had she truly been lately?_

_You saw what you wanted to see, didn’t you Lena? And you know exactly why you wanted to separate the two of them…_

_Now her mind was racing backwards, combing over every interaction she and Kara ever had. Every happy moment, every shared secret, every second when she had relished the feeling of belonging- of not being alone. She hadn’t wanted it to end. She’d noticed the similarities between her favorite blonde and the hero of National City, but she’d ignored them all._

_Because if she hadn’t, she would have lost everything. Kara would have pushed her away, whether it be for Lena’s own safety, or her own desperation to keep her identity a secret. It all would have been swept out from under her. And it still could be, she realized when she came back to herself. She felt the wetness that had built in her eyes and she turned away from the blonde, unable to meet those earnest blue eyes any longer._

_“Le- Ms. Luthor?”_

_How could you have ignored that voice? The one you’ve started to hear in your own head all day?_

_“Ms. Luthor, I hope I haven’t made things worse between us. I just- I wanted to explain-“_

_“No. It’s me who has made things worse now.” Lena’s voice was hardly above a whisper but she was sure it was picked up by the alien’s super-hearing. She cleared the hoarseness from her throat before continuing. “It’s me that should be sorry. I’ve been acting like the petulant child that my mother always believed me to be. I didn’t like the decision you made but I understand it now. I’m not used to anyone worrying about my protection. Kara Danvers… our mutual friend… has helped me understand the concept only recently. I’ve always been a little bit selfish. Having to look out for yourself in the world will have that effect. And I’ve been acting selfishly lately. I hope you can forgive me.”_

_Only once Lena had gathered her emotions back in check did she turn again to face Kara. Finding a sad but hopeful smile on the blonde’s face._

_“There’s nothing to forgive, Ms. Luthor.” She insists. Lena nods but her body remains tense. A new found weight has settled on her shoulders. It was her responsibility to keep Kara safe now. And she vowed not to fail her. “But Kara Danvers would disagree with you, and so will I.” Supergirl added. “Kara Danvers thinks you’re the most selfless person she’s ever met. She’s told me so, multiple times. And she’s right. You help and fight for those who can’t do it for themselves, that’s one of the most admirable things someone can do. It’s the opposite of selfish.” Those shining blue eyes pierced her once more._

_Lena didn’t have a response. It was getting increasingly harder for her to keep her mask in place. One slip and it was over for her. So she let Kara turn away, cape swirling behind her, as she made her way back out to the balcony._

_“She cares about you, you know?” Supergirl called back to her from where she was preparing to lift off. “Kara Danvers. She really, really cares for you. You’re not alone here… Goodnight, Ms. Luthor.”_

_In a flash of blue and red the Kryptonian was gone and Lena finally allowed herself to collapse. Tears streamed relentlessly down her cheeks and she struggled for breath. There was a pain in her chest but she couldn’t discern its origin. Betrayal, fear, panic? Where did one end and the other begin?_

_It took a few minutes but eventually Lena pieced herself back together. Wiping her face and setting her jaw with resolve._

_Kara was wrong, she’d decided. She was selfish. If she wasn’t, she would have let Kara go. She would have put distance between them in order to protect her. But she was determined not to lose the happiness she had found. So she wouldn’t admit to the knowledge she had. If Kara could carry this burden then she could carry it too. She would carry it. The alternative wasn’t acceptable._

* * *

There was no opportunity for sleep between tests. As diagnostics were being run by the system for one, Lena was already queuing up the next. She couldn’t afford to leave any stone unturned. Any possibility left unexplored. Lex had a devious mind. And a creative one as well. But each consecutive evaluation brought nothing unusual to light. What was Lex playing at? Surely he would have somewhere else to hide this on his own? Even if he was in prison he was still capable of moving it elsewhere, that much was obvious by the fact that it had made it to Lena in the first place. Being a billionaire, even one that’s imprisoned, meant you could find ways to get what you wanted. But why send it to her? Was he setting her up to take the blame for some impending scheme? Did he think that it would turn Supergirl against her? He couldn’t be under the delusion that she would actually help him in any plot against the hero? Not after she had testified against him for his crimes?

Morning found her sitting once again behind her office desk, having locked the kryptonite within her office wall safe. She was surrounded by the accumulated data of last nights frenzied lab session. The kryptonite was normal. Which left Lena struggling to piece together Lex’s plan.

She should call Kara. She should handover the kryptonite to Supergirl in the hopes that the DEO could hide it out of Lex’s reach.

Or maybe that’s what Lex was waiting for… It wouldn’t come as any surprise to Lena to find that Lex had knowledge of an under the table government organization, nor would she put it past him to already have someone on the inside of it. And since Superman had heard about the DEO collecting the kryptonite, he had personally come to retrieve every last crystal of it and take it to the Fortress of Solitude. A place where Lex could not get inside, certainly. So perhaps now, Lex would assume she would turn the compound over to the DEO and finally his inside mole could get their hands on it…But then again…why send it to her at all? Why not directly to his inside man?

In the many years that Lena spent on the other side of a chess table from her brother, he had always managed to employ a strategy that surprised her. He had a masterful way of misdirecting attention. Yet there were times when he used none at all, allowing Lena to delude herself into seeing moves that weren’t coming, distracting herself with her own paranoia.

He could be waiting for her to contact Supergirl, watching L-Corp and lying in ambush.

Or maybe his was the long game. Setting her up to take the fall, hoping she would be found kryptonite-handed.

The longer she sat, the more possibilities she concocted in her mind. And that’s how Jess found her boss when she strolled into the office at 8am.

“Ms. Luthor? Did you stay here all night?” She noted the blouse and slacks of the CEO were the same from yesterday, although wrinkled now and the darkened shadows beneath her eyes indicated she had not slept at all.

“Cancel my appointments for the day, Jess. Something has come up.” Lena didn’t move her eyes from the data sheets.

“Is everything okay?”

“I’m handling it.” Lena insisted, dismissing her assistant. She sat for a moment longer, looking from the documents before her to the spot on the wall where she knew the alien toxic compound lay in wait for her decision. Exhaustion had truly set in now. She had done her best to think of each possible plot and its contingencies but she had no real way of knowing what Lex was planning. So she would make the best move on the board that she could for the time being.

Picking up her phone -which she had scanned last night, along with her entire office for bugs of any kind- she dialed Kara’s number.

“Good morning, Lena.” The Kryptonian’s voice was bright and cheerful as usual. “I’m thinking Angelo’s for lunch today? They have all you can eat breadsticks this week!”

Lena found herself smiling tensely at the comment. She thought briefly of how her news was about to impact Kara’s day. But it had to be done.

“Kara, as nice as that sounds, I’m not calling to make lunch plans. I need you to contact Supergirl for me. I need to see her as soon as possible.” Her weariness was apparent in her voice.

“Is everything okay?” Kara’s tone immediately shifted to one of concern. “What’s going on? Are you safe?”

Lena felt tears brim at the concern in Kara’s voice. If anyone should be concerned it should be Lena for Kara, not the other way around right now.

“I’m fine-“

“No you’re not.” Kara called her out gently. She knew the blonde could hear the tremor in her voice.

“I meant I’m safe. I’m exhausted, yes, but otherwise unharmed. And I can’t tell you what’s going on just yet, I need to talk to Supergirl first. Just please tell her to come to L-Corp but tell her to be careful. I think- I think I’m being watched. I can’t be sure.”

“I’ll be right- I mean I’ll call her right now.” Kara stuttered and once again Lena smiled despite the current situation.

_Maybe she’ll fly here on the bus again?_

“Thank you, Kara.”

“Of course. Just, you be careful too, okay? Until Supergirl gets there? Promise me?”

A sudden warmth spread in Lena’s cheeks. No one had ever expressed such worry for her before. Not since her biological mother had passed away when she was little.

“I promise.” She agreed softly. Hanging up and sinking back into her office chair.

Only minutes passed before a knock came on her balcony window. Turning she found Kara, in full Supergirl uniform, standing on the balcony. As she so often found herself doing these days, she analyzed any semblance of ‘Karaness’ that she could find within Supergirl. This time, as in many others, it was the look in those earnest blue eyes. One of unsettled determination.

“Kara said you wanted to see me?” The blonde mentioned as she crossed the threshold into the office once Lena opened the sliding door.

“Yes. There’s- well, something happened last night. I received a delivery…one that had been arranged by my brother.” She noticed the narrowing of the Kyrptonian’s eyes at this news.

“What kind of delivery?”

“The kryptonite kind.” Those narrowed eyes widened now.

“I thought all of Lex’s kryptonite had been seized?”

“So did I. Until a lead case showed up at L-Corp last night containing approximately 8 pounds worth of the compound. I ran some tests on it, here’s all the lab results if you want to have Agent Danvers or Winn check them over. I couldn’t find any alterations to the compound. I tried everything I could think of.” Lena handed over the file she had compiled. “The kryptonite has been secured in my wall safe. It’s still encased in lead so you shouldn’t have any issues transporting it to the DEO…but Supergirl, if I may… I don’t trust the DEO. Organizations like that, with so many people… you can run all the background checks you want but people can be corrupted. That’s not my paranoia talking, it’s statistics. And statistically speaking, not everyone working there is doing it for the right reasons. I fear Lex may have a mole in the DEO. He’s a billionaire genius and it would hardly be a stretch of the imagination for him to pay someone off on the inside for access.”

Lena’s theory hung in the air between them for a long moment. Supergirl’s face gave nothing away now as to her thoughts. And Lena turned, moving to the wall of her office and preparing to open the safe.

“Don’t.” The Kryptonian called out when the access panel was revealed.

“It’s contained, I swear. I would never bring you within a mile of this stuff if I wasn’t sure of that.”

“I know that, Ms. Luthor. I trust you completely. Which is why I won’t be taking this to the DEO. And I won’t be telling them about this either. You’re right. It’s naïve to think that the DEO is incorruptible no matter how much I wish that was the truth. But I believe that you are. So I’ll leave it in your care, should the time come that you ever need to use it… But if Lex asked you to keep it, then he’s planning something, and he’ll be coming for it somewhere down the line. Are you sure you want to be in that position? It’s a dangerous one.” Supergirl pointed out.

“I can handle my brother.” Lena insisted. “I’m not afraid of him. Even after I went against him and my mother he’s never tried to hurt me before. I don’t think he would take extreme measures against me. That part of him is the only thing that still makes him human I think.”

“Only if you’re certain, Ms. Luthor. And if you ever change your mind I’ll come back and hide it somewhere else. Just let me know.” Supergirl asserted.

“I am sure. And I’ll keep you up to date if Lex tries to reach out again.”

Supergirl nodded solemnly.

“Thank you, Ms. Luthor. I appreciate your trust in me.”

“You’re the one trusting me with kryptonite.” Lena pointed out, arching an eyebrow.

“But you’re the one who brought it to me in the first place. Our kryptonite fallout was only a few months ago. I made the wrong choice then, but I know I’m making the right one now.”

“You had your reasons. And I understand them now. But for the record, I’m rarely ever wrong.” Amidst all the heavy tension of what Lex might be scheming, Lena couldn’t resist smirking.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Supergirl smiled.

“Oh and Supergirl!” Lena called out as the Kryptonian walked back out to the balcony. “Tell Kara thank you, for getting you here so quickly.”

The blonde nodded although Lena caught the guilt in the bright smile she flashed before she took off.

A weight had finally been lifted from her shoulders. Despite what she had told Kara, only time would tell if she had made the right call here today and months prior. She hoped to whatever God there was that she had. For Kara’s sake above her own.


	2. Old New Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I find writing from Kara's POV more challenging than Lena's for some reason and maybe that says too much about my emotional status but that's for my therapist to figure out.  
> Anyway, here's some words. Kinda not what I expected myself to write but it kinda just happened without my permission, my b.

Kara tried desperately to ignore the guilt she felt creeping up within her as she returned to CatCo. Lena’s news had shaken her, as had her parting request to ‘thank Kara Danvers’. At this point she wasn’t sure which gave her more anxiety. The fact that Lex Luthor was potentially putting together some type of evil plot or that she was still lying to Lena about her identity.

Now more than ever Lena would be in the cross-hairs. She couldn’t possibly reveal herself with the possibility that Lex could be watching. That would be detrimental not only to herself and her family, but to Lena. If Lex figured out how deeply she cared for his sister would he continue to leave Lena unharmed in his scheme? Or would he target her specifically to draw Kara out? The risk was too much, Kara decided. She had to stay hidden. At least until this was over.

_But that’s always what you tell yourself, isn’t it? Tell her when the bad guy has been put away, it’ll be safe then. But is never happens. Because there’s always another bad guy. It’s never safe, is it?_

Kara continued to berate herself as she made her way back to her desk now dressed in her signature trouser and button down look. Adjusting her glasses as she sat down, she debated whether she should call Lena to check in. She had kept a careful ear towards L-Corp as she flew back to work, just in case Lex had been watching and preparing to ambush, but no cry for help caught her ear.

Deciding it couldn’t hurt just to check she picked up her phone and dialed Lena as she left her desk and made her way to the back offices that were unclaimed for some privacy. Lena answered on the first ring.

“Hey, Supergirl told me you were safe but I just wanted to reach out if you wanted to talk? She told me a little about what’s going on, I hope that was okay. I’m just worried. But if you don’t want to talk that’s okay too. I just wanted to make sure you know that I’m here. For when you’re ready. I’ll always be here.” She found herself rambling on as she so often does when talking to the brunette. It’s like her brain short circuits and all of her words want to come out at once, and they usually do, just not always in the way she wanted them to.

“It’s fine, Kara. And yes, I’m safe, I appreciate your concern and that you got Supergirl here so quickly. I’m… _dealing_ with the fact that my brother has apparently not reformed his ways since being imprisoned… It’s an idea that I’ve always struggled with in the back of my mind… but now it appears to be a reality. I shouldn’t be surprised, of course…”

“But you had hoped that he had changed.” Kara finished where she left off. Lena Luthor may come off to many as cold and superior but Kara had come to know the real woman beneath the persona she wore in public. And she knew that when Lena cared about someone, she did so _deeply_ , even if she didn’t outwardly show it in obvious ways. But Kara caught glimpses.

“Yeah… I guess I did… Listen, thank you for calling but I need to get back to work. I had a long night last night and I’ve fallen behind on other things.” Lena’s voice had taken on that brisk quality that turned up when she was trying to reign in her emotions. She was closing back up and Kara knew she probably shouldn’t have tried to talk to her about this over the phone while the CEO was at work. Lena couldn’t be seen as vulnerable there. Not in her stronghold. Lena’s own Fortress of Solitude, Kara had come to think of it.

“No, of course, I’m sorry, I-“

“Don’t be sorry. I just- I can’t… Perhaps we could talk about this another time.” Lena offered.

“How about later tonight? Dinner at my place? I promise I’ll order in though, not cook anything myself.” Kara attempted a joke to lighten the mood that had been growing somber.

“I don’t think I’d be much company this evening…”

“I won’t push you to accept. I just think maybe it’s not the best idea for you to be alone tonight? All things considered…”

“All things considered, I shouldn’t be putting you in the cross-hairs with me if Lex decides to make a move tonight.” Lena countered softly.

“All the more reason for you to not be at your apartment if he does. And you’ll have backup. I can call Supergirl in a second if anything happens. Please, Lena.” Kara added softly.

She detects a shaky breath on the other end of the line, barely noticeable even with her super-hearing. Silence stretches on for what seems like much longer than the mere seconds that it occupies in actuality.

“Okay.” Lena’s acceptance is only above a whisper. “What time would you like me to come over?”

Kara feels as though her heart expands a little within her chest in preparation to see Lena later on.

“How about 6pm?”

“I’ll bring the wine, and lots of it.” Lena proposes, her own attempt to lighten the mood as well and Kara takes that as a positive sign.

“Excellent. I’ll see you tonight then. And Lena, you’ll keep being careful today, won’t you?” Kara can’t help but add.

“I will, Kara. Thank you for calling. It means a lot to me that you did.” Lena mentions.

“Well you mean a lot to me.” Again words escape her mouth without her permission but she doesn’t take them back. Because they are the truth. And she keeps so many other secrets from Lena that anytime she can tell her the truth she does so, with no hesitation.

“I’ll see you later.” Is Lena’s response before she hangs up and Kara worries that she has made the Luthor feel uncomfortable at her admission of affection. That thought makes her shrink down in her chair.

She tries not to keep any secrets from Lena other than her identity. But there is one that has become more and more of an issue as she became closer to the CEO. Kara values their friendship tremendously but she’d realized over the past few months that her feelings for the woman have begun to extend beyond that friendship.

It had terrified her at first. She tried to convince herself it was no different than the familial love she had developed for her foster family here on Earth. But it was. She felt drawn to Lena in a way she hadn’t been to anyone before. She was falling for her. Hard. But she refused to act on it. Refused to even admit it to anyone, let alone Lena herself. Although she suspected the brunette might feel similarly about her, Kara couldn’t allow anything to come of these feelings. Not as long as Lena didn’t know who she really was. _What_ she really was. A romantic relationship would mean intimacy. Intimacy that would no doubt expose her alien-ness. And then how would Lena feel about being lied to for so long? Even if Kara tried to justify why, would Lena accept her reasoning?

And now Lena was in more danger than ever. And although Kara knew she hadn’t been the one to instigate any of Lex’s schemes, she was still his target. Her very existence could be putting Lena in the line of fire. Would it truly be safer for Kara to keep an eye on her tonight? Wouldn’t she be safer away from a Kryptonian? Kara began to second guess everything as usual.

Truthfully she wished Lena were beside her now. The brunette’s steadfast confidence and decisiveness were qualities that Kara both deeply admired and envied. Even more so after she discovered the emotional turmoil that so often lurked beneath the mask Lena put forth. A mask Kara was all too familiar with, but hadn’t been able to get behind until Lena allowed it.  
  


* * *

_Originally the plan had been made for lunch, but turned into dinner when Lena had a work conflict. The CEO had offered to make a homemade meal for them at her apartment. A deal which Kara had eagerly accepted. She had never been to Lena’s apartment before. Lena was anything if not private about her personal life. Kara had been given only glimpses of the real woman behind the mask during their previous encounters and she found herself wanting to know more. Wanting to be closer. And here was the perfect opportunity. She considered Lena’s invite to her own home as an expression of Lena’s willingness to share the more private part of herself with Kara._

_Kara had shown up at the impressive apartment complex with wine in hand, hoping she had picked one that Lena would enjoy. When she arrived at the penthouse apartment her breath was momentarily taken from her once the door opened and her worry about the wine choice forgotten. The dark green dress Lena was wearing hugged every curve she had to offer while a dip in the neckline revealed the gentle slope of her collar bone._

_“Sorry, I didn’t take the time to change after work.” Lena looked down at herself, she must have caught onto Kara’s staring. Had to have, because Kara’s eyes were still on her figure. She jerked them back up to Lena’s face and prayed to Rao that her cheeks weren’t blushing as hard she thought they were._

_“No, that dress looks amazing on you! I was just- wondering where you got it?” Kara covered quickly. Lena raised an eyebrow and quirked a smile._

_“Oh, thank you. It’s a Roland Mouret design. Come on in, I just started cooking the pasta so dinner might be a few minutes. I’m making chicken parmesan, I hope that’s okay?” Lena opened the door wider and gestured for her to enter._

_“That sounds amazing! And it smells even better.” Kara inhaled the smell of Italian herbs wafting from wherever the kitchen was. If the size of the entryway was any indication, Lena’s apartment was massive, three times the size of Kara’s own. “I brought wine. But I’ll admit that I’m not the best at pairings so I won’t take any offense at all if you decide against serving it.”_

_Lena took the bottle from her hands with a smile._

_“This should pair wonderfully, Kara. Thank you for bringing it.” The brunette led her deeper into the apartment and Kara couldn’t help but take in her surroundings. The ceiling was high and the entire west wall of the apartment was made of windows, one of which acted as a patio door to access the balcony overlooking the city. The spacious living room offered several seating options, all of which looked to be the most luxurious furniture Kara had ever seen. Adjacent from one of the cozier looking couches was a large fireplace, several picture frames and a few awards displayed on the mantle. As Lena moved to the side, Kara followed her to the kitchen, a large space with granite countertops and high-end looking appliances, most of which Kara doubted she would be able to use. On the stove sat several pans and two plates were waiting on the counter, but other than that the area was immaculately clean. Kara cringed thinking of the state her place had been in during Game Night compared to this._

_“Your place is amazing. The view you get from here must be fantastic!” Kara admired, wandering toward the west wall. She felt Lena’s eyes on her back and turned to find the woman observing her quietly, fidgeting the wine bottle in her hands._

_“Yes, it’s quite spectacular to watch the sunsets on clear evenings. But I think I regret getting an apartment so large. I don’t have nearly enough stuff to fill it with.” Lena shrugged, dropping her gaze to the glasses she had pulled out for the wine._

_“No roommates?” Kara joked and earned a chuckle from her friend._

_“Not a chance. I’m much too paranoid to trust someone around my work on nights when I bring it home with me.” Lena chuckled and poured the wine before crossing the apartment to hand her a glass. They stood together at the window for a moment, both taking in the view._

_“But it does get lonely sometimes, I’ll admit that.” As soon as she had said the words Lena lifted her wine glass to her lips. Kara detected a change in her heartbeat. It picked up speed in that way it did when Lena was feeling anxious._

_“I felt that way too when I first came to the city. The town I came from, Midvale, it was so small. Everyone knew each other kind of small. And growing up with an older sister always in your business made it seem like I was never alone. Once I moved into my apartment by myself here though, it was so weird for the longest time. It definitely took some getting used to. Sometimes I’m still getting used to it.” Kara offered. Pleased when she heard Lena’s heartbeats slow once more. But Lena didn’t say anything, just took another sip of wine and then excused herself to go check on dinner. Kara got the feeling Lena wanted to open up to her, she just wasn’t ready quite yet. And that was okay, Kara thought, because she would wait for Lena to feel comfortable to do so._

* * *

For the rest of her day Kara’s thoughts never strayed far from the L-Corp CEO, earning her several reprimands from Snapper when she neglected to follow through on a few article leads. But she couldn’t possibly focus on that today. She was too distracted. Keeping a careful ear pointed towards L-Corp and debating whether or not she should call Alex and tell her what was going on.

She trusted her sister with her life. Of course, she did. But she knew her sister’s loyalty to the DEO. Not that she believed Alex would choose her job over her own sister, but Kara didn’t want her to have to make that choice. Alex would try to find the mole within the DEO and in doing so, it could tip off Lex that they knew about his inside man. Then who knows what would come next? At least this way they could try and calculate Lex’s plan of attack. Could keep an eye on the kryptonite. She would hold off on telling her sister. Just until she could talk more with Lena about what Lex could be planning and hopefully form a plan themselves.

Briefly Kara wondered when her life had come to this. Lying to her sister. Lying to Lena. And lying to herself to justify it all.

* * *

_“Pasta’s ready!” Lena had called as she began to plate the meal._

_“Need any help?” Kara offered politely but Lena shook her head, already expertly arranging the food. She brought both plates to one end of her rather long dining room table as Kara followed behind with the wine bottle and both of their glasses._

_Once they were seated, Kara barely waited a moment before she was eagerly tasting the meal that Lena had made. It was delicious. Dare she say better than Eliza’s cooking? Kara couldn’t be sure._

_“This is so unfair.” She announced after her third bite. “You’re a scientific genius and an incredible cook? What can’t you do?”_

_The laugh she drew from Lena danced around her._

_“Well cooking is a science in a lot of different ways. Ingredients undergo chemical reactions when combined or exposed to heat sources, those reactions are what create the mouthwatering effect of caramelization and searing. It’s all about ratios and balancing the properties of the components of the dish. Counteracting salty with sweet or acidity with creaminess for example.” Lena shrugged with a shy smile. Her eyes sparking with hidden joy._

_“You love cooking don’t you?” Kara observed out loud and Lena’s eyes met hers, reflecting a passion._

_“I love creating. In the lab or the kitchen, it’s all about experimenting with new ideas and synthesizing a vision.” Her tone was soft._

_“That’s how I feel about writing. Creating a connection between people, spreading new ideas and fostering change for the better. It’s a rush and I love every second, well except for the times when a deadline is breathing down my neck and I’m simultaneously having a serious case of writer’s block.”_

_They share a laugh and a smile._

_Throughout the rest of the meal their conversation feels as easy as breathing to Kara. She asks about what Lena is working on in the lab and listens in awe as the CEO describes a prototype to revolutionize the generation of power in underdeveloped countries with little to no negative impact on the surrounding environment. When asked about her day, Kara explains the latest story she had managed to scoop involving the corruption of a local politician that had been dipping into the donations he had been raising under the guise of a charity program._

_By the time Kara finished one and a half more helpings she is convinced that in another life, Lena was a professional chef. After they clear up the table together- Kara insisted on helping- they opened a second bottle of wine and moved to relax in the living room. Drawn by her curiosity, Kara made her way to the fireplace mantle to examine its display. The awards were from various societies, recognizing Lena as a leader in the fields of biochemical engineering and astrophysics._

_“Wow, how many degrees do you have?” Kara cocked an eyebrow at the woman who had sunk, somehow gracefully, into the sofa across from the fireplace._

_“Officially? Just those two.”_

_“And unofficially?” Kara presses._

_“Four I guess. I was given honorary degrees in Operational Research and Theoretical Physics with Applied Mathematics from different universities as a result of my help with a few recent breakthroughs in the industries.” The tone of her voice made it feel as though Lena was uncomfortable with the subject and Kara was bewildered as to why that could be._

_“Those are incredible accomplishments, Lena. I can’t even imagine how hard you must have worked for them. You’re an amazing woman.” Kara regarded the brunette who now looked to her with a slight furrow in her brow._

_“What is it?”_

_“Nothing just- well most people assume I received them based on just having the last name that I do. There are some universities and programs out there that offered me accolades without so much as requiring me to fill out an application for them. I refused them. They only wanted to be connected to a prominent name circulating in the scientific community. It’s nice to be recognized for my actual contributions to the fields though.” The Luthor’s tone remained soft, cautious even as she explained herself. Lena rose from the couch and made her way over to stand beside Kara at the mantle._

_“That’s crazy! You’re a genius. Who would think that you didn’t earn these?” Kara gestured to the plaques._

_“Lillian Luthor.” Lena answered truthfully. The shrug she offered was nonchalant but Kara caught the tinge of hurt in her voice._

_“Lena, I mean you no offense, but your mother was hardly Mother of the Year. I don’t think she’s qualified to judge anyone on their merits, least of all you.” Kara inched closer and bumped her shoulder gently. The beginnings of a smile tugged at Lena’s mouth._

_“Thank you, Kara. But she wasn’t my mother, not really. We had- well, to call our relationship ‘complicated’ would be an understatement. Then again, to call it a relationship at all would be generous.” Lena chuckled ruefully as she reached for the picture frame at the center of the mantle and handed it to Kara._

_It was a picture of the Luthor family. Lionel and Lillian standing side by side with their hands placed on the shoulders of Lex and Lena standing in front of them. Lena looked to be about 10 or so in the photo. None of them were smiling in it, all the faces were serious and commanded an aura of respect. But in young Lena’s eyes, Kara saw uncertainty. She waited patiently for Lena to continue._

_“The Luthors adopted me when I was four years old.” She admitted and Kara couldn’t stop her eyes from widening. “My birth mother died before I had time to really know her. I have a vague memory of what she looks like, so vague I’m not sure I could even call it a real memory. Lillian always reminded me that I was gifted the Luthor name out of the goodness of her heart, that when I achieved anything it had been handed to me based on that fact alone. She didn’t acknowledge my successes as my own, only my failures.”_

_Lena’s tone was one Kara had never witnessed from the brunette before. It was numb and cold, green eyes reflected it with an empty quality that scared Kara a little if she was being honest. Her instincts told her to hug her friend. To wrap her tightly within her arms and tell her just how wrong Lillian Luthor had been. But she took in Lena’s stance, how she had wrapped her own arms tightly around torso as though she was barricading herself. Attempting to cover for the vulnerability she had just exposed._

_“I was adopted too.” Kara found herself uttering the words. “My birth parents died when I was 12…sometimes… this is terrible, but sometimes I wonder if it would have been easier if I had been younger. If I didn’t have the memory of the last time I saw my mother’s face imprinted in my mind. But then I think of all the good times that we were able to share together and I’m so ashamed that I ever thought that. I’m lucky that I was able to know them. Love them and be loved by them. I’m so sorry you didn’t have the same chance, Lena.” Kara settled for placing a hand on Lena’s arm. Lena’s own hand moved to cover it and gave it a firm squeeze. A comfortable silence fell between them for a moment._

_When Lena’s hand fell away, Kara allowed her own to drop as well, not wanting to make the brunette uncomfortable with prolonged contact. Lena looked down at the floor for a moment and Kara frowned slightly at the look she found on Lena’s face. It was one of guilt, nearly bordering on shame. Lena brought her head up once more and took an audible breath._

_“I think it’s human for us to want terrible things sometimes. I used to wish the Luthors would put me back into the foster system when I was young. I had heard horror stories of other kids that had landed in awful homes but I thought I was willing to try my luck if it meant the chance that I might be able to find a family that actually wanted me. Eventually I decided that the better plan was for me to change myself. To fit into the family that had taken me in. So I started to push myself harder in everything that I did. I thought I could make Lillian want me, love me even. I was the best of my class in every grade, excelled in the private lessons I received at home but still she wouldn’t look at me the same way she looked at Lex. My brother, he hardly had to try at anything it seemed. He just understood everything so easily. He used to tease me constantly for studying and taking too long on my homework. But he was the only one that came close to caring for me. He looked out for me at school when I skipped a few grades and the older kids in my class picked on me. For a long time he was my hero. And then he became obsessed with Superman. He let it consume him until I could barely recognize him anymore. The hardest thing I ever did was testify against him after he tried to turn the sun red. He had nearly killed millions of people all in the pursuit of his own power, but he was still my brother. Still the little boy who had taught me how to play chess, who would hang out in the same room as me when I studied just so I wouldn’t feel so alone in the mansion.”_

_Tears were visible now, brimming in green orbs that refused to let them spill._

_“It’s okay to not hate him, you know? Even when the people we love do bad things, it’s okay to still love them. It’s hard. Because you want them to be better. To be as good as you know they can be. But you can’t make them want that too. Not always.” Kara offered._

_Lena sucked in her lips and nodded, looking out the window for a brief moment, collecting herself._

_“You’re good with words, Kara. Even for a writer. Thank you.”_

_Kara watched as Lena stepped back, putting more space between them. She was confused. Lena had finally opened up and yet she was trying to close herself off again?_

_“You don’t have to do that, you know.” Kara found herself saying. Lena simply looked at her in response._

_“Be strong all the time.” She continued carefully. Fearful she was overstepping her bounds if she hadn’t already. Lena had stiffened and wasn’t looking at her. Kara decided to backtrack somewhat._

_“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry. I just notice too much sometimes.” Kara stepped back herself._

_“Don’t be sorry. You did nothing wrong.” Lena spoke softly. Green eyes looked up to her but they were more guarded than they had been moments before. “I just… I didn’t expect to become such close friends with you I suppose. But I’m very glad that I have.” The brunette smiled._

_Kara had been cataloging the different smiles that Lena had. There were so many different variations. There were fake ones of course, the ones she used when she was forced to endure long-winded conversations with boring businessmen during meetings and parties. Tired ones that were little more than quirks of her lips. Tense smiles, when Lena was trying her best to ignore something that was making her uncomfortable but the brunette didn’t want to inconvenience anyone. Shy smiles that peaked out every so often when she didn’t want to admit to enjoying herself. And best of all, the real smiles. The smiles that reached those deep forest green eyes. The ones that were impossible to hide._

_“I’m happy we have too.” Kara’s smile matched Lena’s with ease._

* * *

If Kara’s phone wasn’t in her hand then it was only a few centimeters away at any given moment for the remainder of her day, up until she heard a knock on her door. Out of habit she peeked over the top of her glasses to verify her visitor, not that she needed to, she had locked onto Lena’s heartbeat once she had stepped out of her town car outside Kara’s apartment complex. Lena stood patiently in the hall clutching two bottles, one of wine and one that was decidedly _not_ wine. It appeared that Lena had come straight from work, having not changed out of her CEO attire.

When Kara opened her door to invite her in Lena greeted her with a tired smile.

“So I brought the wine for you but after the day I had, I decided on something a little stronger for myself.” Lena lifted her bottle of scotch and her tired smile was tinged with bitterness.

“Can’t say I blame you for that.” Kara sympathized as the brunette crossed over the threshold. And despite the tension that she could feel rolling off Lena in waves, she had to smile at the graceful way Lena slipped out of her heels on her way to the kitchen island to set the bottles down. It had taken a few visits to Kara’s apartment- and Kara’s insistence- in order for Lena to feel comfortable with the intimacy of taking off her shoes. What really spoke to their close friendship was the fact that Lena was content not only to be barefoot in Kara’s presence, but also to be in lounge wear. It had been a huge development in their relationship. Lena, who seemed to wield her wardrobe as a sort of armor, began to let her guard down further in front of Kara. Even becoming more accepting of physical shows of affection, such as leaning easily against Kara on the couch and resting her head on the blonde’s shoulder or doling out a friendly touch when maneuvering around each other in the kitchen.

Kara watched Lena as she went straight to pouring herself a large measure of scotch into a glass tumbler. The brunette took a long drink and remained bracing herself against the island counter, facing away from Kara.

“I still have the pjs you left here from the last time you stayed over if you want to get comfy?” Kara offered. “You know you’re welcome to stay the night.”

Lena hummed, nodded, and took another long drink. Still she didn’t face the blonde as Kara stepped up next to her at the island.

“Lena?”

The shorter woman gave no indication that she had heard Kara speak her name. She simply finished the rest of her first drink and went right into pouring a second of equally large size.

“Lena?” This time Kara reached out and gently touched her shoulder.

Now Lena met her eyes. Exhaustion evident in her face.

“I’m sorry.” She voiced quietly. “On top of everything today, work was a nightmare.” She set her glass down to release her hair from her professional high and tight pony with a sigh. “I promise I’ll slow down…just after this one.” Lena chuckled, picking up her glass once more.

Kara’s fingers moved without permission, combing into dark locks to drag them back over Lena’s shoulder. The stutter in Lena’s heartbeat at her action was impossible for her to miss.

“Don’t apologize, Lena. I can’t imagine the stress you’re under right now. But maybe we should have dinner before you drink half a bottle of scotch? The pizza should be here any minute. How about you go put on those pjs and then we can slum it on the couch for the rest of the night?” Kara smiled softly.

Green eyes flitted their way over her face as Lena contemplated her words. Finally she nodded.

“You make a good point.”

Kara smiled in victory as Lena made her way towards the bedroom where she knew she would find her pjs in the bottom drawer of Kara’s dresser.

Kara went about pouring a glass of wine for herself and getting out plates for the pizza. She was perfectly content to eat hers out of the box but Lena was another story. Any other night and Kara would have contemplated slipping a little bit of the liquor she bought from the alien bar in the city into her wine. It helped so that Lena wouldn’t question her sobriety after drinking an entire bottle of wine. But not tonight. Tonight she wanted to be fully alert, just in case. Kara would be ready for anything that came their way.

“Hey Kara…” Lena stepped back out into the kitchen, clutching her pjs in a tight knuckled grip.

“Yeah?”

“This is probably asking too much but…I came right from work and- well I was wondering… could I use your shower?” The brunette blurted out the last part in a rush.

For an instant Kara was stunned. Lena wanted to… in _her_ -?

“Y-yeah, that’d be fine. Of course you can.” She recovered quickly with a nod, hoping her cheeks hadn’t turned too red.

“Thank you. I hate to ask but-“

“Lena, really, it’s fine. Here, I’ll- uh, I’ll show you how the shower works.”

Kara didn’t miss the quirk of Lena’s eyebrow at that. Her, the journalist, having to show an award winning scientist and verifiable genius how to use something as simple as a shower. But Lena didn’t dispute her offer, just followed her to the small bathroom and observed her instructions of the hot and cold water.

“Umm, towels are here. You can just drop them in the laundry basket in my room when you’re done.” Kara added, backing out of the bathroom and still trying not to blush.

Lena uttered another quiet thanks, not quite making eye contact.

Kara all but super-sprinted back to the kitchen. She stood at the counter, her back ram-rod straight. Super-hearing wasn’t something she could ever turn completely off, but she did her best to keep it directed towards the door of her apartment rather than the back of it.

 _Just waiting for the pizza is all._ She told herself. Even as the sound of water sputtering out of the showerhead drifted from the bathroom. It broke her focus for a moment and her hearing drifted in that direction, catching the soft whisper of fabric over skin.

_Nope. Not thinking about that. Not at all._

When the pizza guy finally arrived Kara sent a prayer of thanks to Rao and she was suitably distracted by the food to not think of Lena in her shower.

That was until Lena padded into the kitchen, barefoot and clad in a pair of soft shorts with freshly combed hair dripping water onto an old MIT t-shirt of hers. At the time, Kara had a slice of pizza halfway to her mouth and she couldn’t help but pause and take in the sight of the brunette.

“Couldn’t wait for me, huh?” Lena chuckled, moving up to her blonde friend and bumping Kara’s shoulder with hers.

“Huh? Uh- no, I mean- sorry!” Kara couldn’t take her eyes of off Lena’s fresh, makeup-free face. She seemed completely refreshed after the shower, and for that at least, Kara was very glad.

“I’m only joking. I know how you get.” Lena grinned and pulled two slices of pizza onto a plate of her own and reached once again for her scotch glass.

Kara hurriedly stuffed the slice of pizza into her mouth in effort to stop any further stammering.

“So, Netflix or Hulu tonight?” Lena asked as she made her way to the couch with Kara close behind.

“I’d like to remind you that Disney Plus is also an option.”

“Of course, how could I forget about watching the second Frozen movie for the 16th time?”

“Alright, okay, point made. Netflix it is.” They settled onto the couch and dropped their plates onto the coffee table before them.

“Excellent choice, Miss Danvers.”

Kara hadn’t detected any noticeable difference in Lena’s voice with those words but they still sent a small shiver down her spine. Miss Danvers…

Stop it Kara. She reminded herself. It was easier to stay focused on being Lena’s friend- and only her friend when she recalled the guilt that she should be suffocating from right now. But the pleasant look on the CEO’s face made it hard for her to remember that. Here, in this simple moment, Lena looked content. Kara was torn between leaving her that way or attempting to verify that she was indeed okay right now. As they started a movie, Kara decided to hold off and let Lena continue to enjoy this moment.

By the time the credits rolled, Lena had allowed her body to slump against Kara’s, her head on the blonde’s shoulder as had become their usual position. The brunette appeared sleepy, unsurprising considering how much of her scotch she had gone through tonight. But there was still a tension in her shoulders that Kara noticed. And as she rested her hand on Lena’s back she dug her thumb into the space between Lena’s shoulder blades in slow circles.

“This is probably a stupid question…and I don’t want to make you more upset…but how are you doing?” Kara’s voice was a near whisper.

A sigh escaped the shorter girl and she leaned further into Kara’s touch.

“You’re not upsetting me, I promise. This has been exactly what I needed tonight. A break from the real world… The worst thing about today was being reminded about where I came from. About everyone my family hurt. I spent most of my day thinking about that. Wondering if I’ve done enough to redeem myself for that.”

“Oh, Lena.” Kara’s arm circled around her friend tightly. “You have nothing to redeem yourself for. You took no part in your family’s actions. In fact, you’re the one who did the most to help stop what they were planning. You are not your family. You’ve never been like them, in any way. Anyone who can’t see that is absolutely blind.”

Lena swallowed hard, reaching up to clasp Kara’s arm where it circled around her in her own way of hugging the blonde in return.

“I don’t know what I would do without you sometimes, Kara.” She admitted softly.

“Well, you won’t have to find out. I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”

“I know.” Lena glanced up to meet Kara’s eyes. “I trust you.”

That knot of guilt pulled tighter inside Kara’s chest.

“I trust you too, Lena. With my life.” She added meaningfully. The kryptonite was in Lena’s safe after all. Even if the woman didn’t know she was Supergirl.

“Just not with my own life.” Lena added with a soft chuckle. “Hence the hiding me away in your apartment for the night.”

“It’s not that.” Kara protested. “I’m just-“

“Trying to protect me.” Lena squeezed her arm again. “I know. You always are. And I don’t think I’ve ever thanked you for that…”

“Lena, you don’t have to thank me at all.” Kara insisted. “That’s what friends do. You’ve protected me dozens of times.”

You just didn’t always realize that because half of those times I was in disguise.

“Yeah, I guess I have…Although you still won’t let me fire Snapper for some reason.”

“Hey, he might be a jerk but I do have to admit, he’s a jerk that knows what he’s doing.”

“Hmmm, alright but you just say the word and he’s gone.”

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.” Kara laughed.

She saw Lena’s lips quirk into a smile even as green eyes closed slowly. It was clear that Lena’s exhaustion was quickly catching up to her.

“How about we go to bed? It looks like you need the rest.” Kara gently urged the brunette up and stood with her.

Lena hummed in agreement and bent down to collect her dishes.

“I’ll get that. You go to bed.” Kara ordered firmly, quickly snatching up the dishes before Lena could grab them.

Another hum.

“I’ll get even with you eventually.” Lena murmured, perhaps more to herself than to Kara in her half-awake, half-sober state.

“Whatever you say, Lena. Now bed.” Kara reminded.

The shorter woman shuffled her way to the bedroom, releasing an adorable yawn on the way. The Kryptonian picked up the sound of her friend sliding into bed with a tired groan followed by soft breathing. She listened to Lena’s heartbeat slow as she finished up cleaning. By the time she made it to the bedroom she was certain the dark haired woman was asleep. Her breathing and heartbeat had deepened into a rhythmic sound that Kara found hypnotizing as she crawled in next to the woman. She soon found her own heartbeat matching the rhythm set by Lena’s.

“Good night, Lena.” She whispered lowly. There was no change in Lena’s heartbeat at her words. She was fully asleep. So Kara whispered again. “I love you.” Before letting her eyes flutter closed to the lullaby of a heartbeat. She knew logically that Lena hadn’t heard her, but her whispered confession had helped ease the yearning ache in her chest. For now she would have to settle for whispered confessions. 

_But not forever._ She promised herself. _Just for now. Until she's safe. Her safety has to come first. Because if she gets hurt...well then it'll all have been for nothing._

Sleep didn't come quite so easily after those thoughts crossed her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, please don't be shy with comments, lmk if I should continue or kill this with fire :)


	3. Old Grievances New Endeavors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guyssssss, your comments!<3 <3 <3 Thank you so much! They mean the world and I love hearing from you! Also, I guess I should mention that some italics are thoughts. The page breaks + italics = flashbacks. Hope to hear some more from you guys but most importantly I hope you enjoy the chapter! :)

As per usual, Lena’s internal alarm clock woke her up before the sun had risen in preparation for her morning routine. Normally she would have showered, made coffee, and sat down to review the morning stock reports for L-Corp and check for any messages from Jess or the research staff. But this morning she allowed herself to simply lay in bed for a few minutes longer. Enduring the cotton ball, post-drinking feeling in her mouth in order to absorb the warmth radiating from the woman beside her.

In her sleep she had shifted closer to the blonde. So much so that she woke up nearly pressed against her. But only nearly. The half or so inch of space between them was very important to Lena. It resembled the last of her self-control. Precarious but ever present and ever necessary. Still, she was grateful for the fact that she woke before Kara. It gave her time lay here and imagine what life would be like if that half inch between them didn’t exist. If she had been able to wake up wrapped in those strong arms and how much warmer that would feel in contrast to the cold empty sheets back at her apartment. It was a particularly favored method of torturing herself.

Kara was still deeply asleep. Mouth half open, hair tousled messily across her pillow. She had taken off her glasses to go to bed of course, so Lena found herself gazing at a slumbering Supergirl.

* * *

_Kara had been hesitant the first time she’d spent the night, Lena remembered. The blonde had tried to go to bed with her glasses still on until Lena had reminded her._

_“Do you normally sleep with you glasses on?” She had chuckled._

_“Oh- uh, no. Guess I forgot.” Kara had fiddled for a moment longer with the frame of her glasses before sliding them off and carefully placing them on the night stand. Time seemed to slow when Kara had turned back towards her on the bed as she realized she’d never seen Kara without her glasses on before. She was beautiful. Well- of course, she’d been beautiful with them on but this was a different kind of beauty. She looked more…free? Lena frowned at the word her mind had supplied her with but she couldn’t find a better substitute for it. It made sense to Lena now, but back then she hadn’t been drawing comparisons between her friend and the alien hero of National City._

_“W-what?” Kara had noticed her staring. She had been quite obvious about it she supposed._

_“Nothing. I just realized that I’ve never seen you without your glasses. You’ve never tried contacts?”_

_Kara mutely shook her head and glanced away from Lena’s gaze._

_“Not that I think you should- I mean, your glasses are-“ She cut herself off by clearing her throat before she could utter the words ‘both sexy and adorable’._

_“Perfectly functional.” She quickly substituted, swallowing hard afterwards._

_Oh, excellent recovery, Lena. She congratulated herself, mentally rolling her eyes._

_Kara’s eyes cut back to hers with a small smile. “Yeah, they get the job done. I like the simplicity of them, I guess.” She shrugged and laid back, relaxing into the pillows._

_Lena smiled. ‘Simplicity’ was something that she’d never quite gotten the hang of. Growing up, ‘simple’ was equated to ‘lesser’ and ‘simplicity’ to ‘unremarkable’. But Kara was showing her that that wasn’t the case. Simplicity was nice. It was comforting. It was Saturdays spent recuperating from wildly hilarious Friday game nights. It was Kara knowing her brunch order by heart, right down to her preferred brand of coffee. It was a warm embrace that shed bursts of light on the overwhelming darkness that so often had tried to swallow her whole. It turned out that, for Lena, simplicity was not as unremarkable as it had been to the Luthors._

_To Lena, it was nothing short of exceptional._

* * *

Lena let her gaze linger and tried not to let herself think about how easily she could screw this up. How quickly moments like this could be taken from her. By her own brother. Her so-called _family_.

She tried to stop the downward mental spiral she felt coming on but it was persistent to say the least.

_If I hadn’t gotten so close to her she would have been safer. But a selfish Luthor gets what they want, don’t they Lena? How high of a cost are you willing to pay? Are you so careless that you would risk another person’s life? Kara's life? Apparently so…_

Physically shaking her head to rid herself of those thoughts, Lena sat up quietly. She slid from bed without waking the blonde, gathered her carefully folded clothes, and tiptoed to the bathroom to change. She really needed to stop to her apartment before work today. If she showed up in the same clothes for the third day in a row Jess would certainly be asking questions. And making certain assumptions that Lena didn’t have the mental capacity to deal with currently.

She considered waking Kara. If the blonde woke up and found her gone she would no doubt panic. Lena decided it was for the best if Kara didn’t panic.

The last time she had, Lena had ended up replacing the balcony door of her office when Supergirl busted through it to prevent a suspected assassination attempt on the CEO. No such attempt had been occurring at the time but apparently Lena had given the impression of being in distress. She had been in distress, technically. But that had been caused by the three month setback that her pet project and just encountered. Supergirl had just so happened to be flying by when the CEO had expressed her displeasure by releasing a frustrating cry and throwing her phone across her office. Admittedly, not her best moment. The hero had found the sound to be alarming and concerning to say the least. So naturally she burst through the glass door without a second thought... So yeah… panicking Kara would not be advised.

Even so, as she leaned against the doorway of the bedroom, Lena found herself unwillingly to disturb the Kryptonian. She often wondered how Kara did it. How she handled a successful, full-time job as a journalist while also protecting innocent lives from events as catastrophic as invading alien attacks to those as seemingly menial as a child’s cat getting stuck in a tree. Even Kryptonians needed sleep, from what Lena knew anyway.

 _Maybe they don’t require such long periods of physical rest due to constant energy intake from the yellow sun?_ She found herself hypothesizing. _But that still didn’t account for the sheer mental and emotional toll that Kara’s responsibilities must take on her._ _It’s a wonder she can function the way she does, so normally care-free and cheerful._

There had been times when Lena had glimpsed a different side of Kara. A side more similar to Lena’s own self. Moments where something unseen threated to overtake her normally bubbly companion. Something that hooked itself into the corners of that beautiful smile and pulled until it was only a shadow of its former glory. The heaviness that settled onto broad shoulders, forcing them to curl inwards shamefully. Lena dreaded those moments but did her best not to show that they terrified her. The issue wasn’t Kara of course. The issue was never Kara. It was Lena’s own perceived inadequacies when it came to something as basic as human emotion. Kara always seemed to know what to do when Lena felt a dark tidal wave culminating within herself. Kara soothed. With gentle words and thoughtful actions. Yes, Kara was good with soft words and hugs tight enough that she would quite literally hold Lena together. Lena was not. Lena was good with money and science. She was not a soother. She was a solver. But she could hardly throw money at Kara’s inner demons and make them disappear, nor could she vaccinate against them. So that left her with what exactly in Kara’s times of need? Her clammy, bare hands and the sheer will to not fail Kara, that’s what. Somehow she had fumbled her way through those moments and somehow Kara looked at her like she was some kind of savior to behold. And Lena had finally started to believe that hey- maybe she wasn’t so bad at this? Maybe she was human after all.

Except now Lena had dragged Kara into this new mess. But perhaps this time money and science could come in handy? Perhaps this was finally a problem Lena could solve?

The thought gave her a new sense of hope for the day ahead and she pushed herself out from the doorway to sit gently on the edge of the bed. Lena took another moment to absorb some of the peacefulness found in Kara’s face, brushing a lock of golden hair back in the process.

“Kara... Wake up, Kara.”

She thought she had spoken softly enough but the blonde’s body still jerked when she gained consciousness.

“Lena, what’s wrong?” She gasped, sitting up quickly and scanning the room.

“Easy, Kara. Everything’s fine. I just wanted to let you know that I’m heading out. I need to swing by my apartment before work.”

She saw it in Kara’s face before the blonde replied. The hesitation of wanting to say something when she already knew what Lena’s answer would be.

“It would be pointless for me to ask you _not_ to go to work today, right?” Kara glanced up with pleading eyes.

“You know me so well.” Lena hummed with a knowing smirk and standing from the bed. Kara sat up as she stepped away.

“You’ll be-“

“Careful, yes, I promise.” Lena’s mouth tilted into a half smile. “You’ll be careful too, right?”

It was almost comical the way Kara’s eyes widened.

“M-me?”

“Yes, you.” Green eyes darted away. “You’re the closest friend I have, Kara. If Lex wanted something from me… Well, you’d be his play.” She admitted, swallowing hard as she met Kara’s eyes again.

“I’ll be careful.” Kara’s voice was quiet. “I promise.”

Lena nodded and slipped out of the bedroom, thinking about the truth of her admission and how those blue eyes had softened in response. Kara had promised her to be careful. Supergirl had trusted Lena to keep her safe. But what if… what if Kara didn’t have to be so careful? What if Supergirl’s safety wasn’t at risk? The only real threat that could harm Kara was kryptonite. But what if Lena could somehow eliminate that?

Her body shifted into autopilot as she made her way to the town car she had ordered to pick her up and she didn’t take the time to appreciate the morning views of National City as it passed by her window. She was too deep in her head at that point. So deep, in fact, that she’d been startled by her driver opening her car door once they’d arrived at her apartment building. Mindlessly, she went through the motions of making her way to her penthouse and getting ready for the day.

Lex was intelligent and resourceful, but so was she. And where he had only kryptonite at his disposal to achieve his ends, Lena had much more. If she could just figure out how to take advantage of that…Wheels in her mind began turning quickly now. It looked as though she would be postponing more meetings today. Jess wouldn’t be pleased, but Lena had an experiment to design.

In hindsight, Lena decided that she probably should have made the time to have something for breakfast aside from coffee. Her stomach was rumbling at this point and her head was beginning to ache. But she was finally getting somewhere with her design. In theory, anyway. There would be an exhaustive amount of testing before she would be willing to say anything with certainty. And she hadn’t even begun to move into a testing stage. She couldn’t quite yet. There were several logistic issues that had to be taken care of first.

A sudden tapping on the glass behind her caused Lena to jump, scattering her papers. She quickly gathered them, flipping them down to conceal her work before spinning towards the window.

Supergirl stood on her balcony, holding a takeout bad and looking sheepish. Releasing a breath and brushing back a few stray hairs that had come lose from her tightly pulled ponytail, Lena unlocked the balcony door.

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you.” Kara apologized as she entered the office.

“It’s alright.” Lena eyed the takeout bag. “Let me guess, Kara sent you to check on me?” She offered Kara the easiest explanation that would make sense.

“And to feed you, yes.” Supergirl thrust the bag in front of herself with a smile that was very Kara-like in nature.

Lena accepted the bag and peeked inside. Her favorite chicken salad wrap from Noonan’s sat at the bottom, practically calling for her. But it would have to wait a little longer.

“I’m glad you’re here actually. We need to talk. About a game plan.”

“What did you have in mind?” Kara’s face shifted from pleased to serious as she nodded.

As her answer, Lena picked up the papers from her desk and flipped them over, handing them to the taller woman. Kara accepted them, her brow furrowing as she studied the pages.

“This is… could this actually work?” Wide blue eyes darted up from the papers.

“Impossible to say at this point. I haven’t actually begun the experiment. This is just the proposal and planning stage. I wanted to- well, I felt I should ask your permission first.”

Kara’s eyes softened at her words and Lena wondered if she knew how easily her emotions could be seen there.

“Thank you for asking. But just to be clear you didn’t have to. I meant it when I said I trusted you.”

“Right.” Lena’s lips pulled tight into an attempted smile but it was a cynical one. “Still, I thought it was for the best. You know what conclusions one might jump to when they find out a Luthor has been playing with kryptonite.” She points out.

“You’re the exception, Ms. Luthor. I’ve been on the business end of one of your kryptonite toys remember? I know exactly what _Lena Luthor_ uses kryptonite for: protecting others. And this time is no different.” Kara handed the papers back to her. Lena felt humbled by her words. As usual, Kara had just the right way to respond to Lena’s defensive self-deprecating humor.

“But speaking of trust… I’d like to ask your permission for something as well.”

Lena looked up from where she’d begun to sort the proposed experiment pages. Her eyebrow quirked with interest.

“For?”

Supergirl clasped her hands behind her back, preparing her pitch it seemed.

“I’d like to tell Agent Danvers about you keeping the kryptonite. I trust her implicitly and I know that she would never betray that trust. Plus, with her in the loop, we’d have a pair of eyes in the DEO that see a lot more going on behind the scenes than I do. She could be on the lookout for Lex to make his move with his inside guy. And I know that risks spooking the mole but-“

“I agree.” Lena cut in suddenly. Kara paused mid-sentence, mouth open.

“You do?”

“I do.” Lena confirmed. “I also trust Agent Danvers. Any sister of Kara’s is an ally of mine. Even if she doesn’t trust me back.” Lena added, her voice lowering for that point.

“Alex trusts you!” Kara protested. “She just- she doesn’t show it well. But that’s just who she is as a person! Ask Kara, I’m sure she’ll tell you the same thing.”

 _Oh, I bet she would._ Lena hid her smile, sinking into her desk chair again.

“Regardless of any trust issues, Alex Danvers would be a valuable asset to this project. I’m sure she’d have plenty of input for this.” Lena gestured to her project diagrams. Kara nodded her agreement and grinned, leaning onto the desk and once again examining the papers.

“It’s good timing that you thought of this. Lex’s threat aside, I’ve been thinking that it was time for a new supersuit...”

Night fell over National City but Lena Luthor hadn’t been in her office to appreciate the sunset this time. She’d sent her assistant home early which had triggered immediate suspicion from Jess. Lena managed to dodge her questions, making up an excuse of needing to help a friend with an emergency. Which technically hadn’t been a lie. Still, Jess had narrowed her eyes before fixing her with a knowing smile and packing up her things for the night.

Lena shook off the interaction and headed to her private lab, checking her watch on the way. Kara and Alex would be here soon. That is… assuming Alex had agreed to come. Kara had mentioned her last kryptonite experiment earlier in the day and Lena had been thinking about it ever since. The unveiling of that project hadn’t gone so well for Lena at the time. Hopefully this one would be different.

* * *

_It had been 12 hours since Supergirl had begun wreaking havoc on National City. With red kryptonite in her system she had morphed into a cruel stranger, ignoring cries for help and even going so far as to inciting violence among rouge aliens. Lena had watched anxiously as the news covered each of Supergirl’s bizarrely out-of-character actions._

_Something had to be done. And soon. Before innocent people got hurt. Before Supergirl herself got hurt because she had left the DEO no other choice._

_Lena took it upon herself to do that something. She barricaded herself in her lab and set to work._

_By the 24 hour mark, and the third full scale test of her device, Lena was confident in the solution she had devised. But she reminded herself that unfortunately, in science, one must always be prepared for unfavorable experiment results. But as Lena hurried across the city to reach the DEO field office, she prayed to any deity that might be listening that any unfavorable results with this one wouldn’t be fatal._

_She spotted Alex Danvers standing in the center of the chaos that was ensuing within the DEO lobby. The agent stood tall and confident as she relayed commands to passing subordinates. Her figure seemed to straighten further as she caught sight of Lena making her way across the lobby only to be stopped by two agents requesting her identification and credentials. Lena didn’t bother answering them, Alex was already on her way over._

_“Ms. Luthor, this really is not the time-“ Agent Danvers clenched her hands into fists and Lena saw for the first time the fury in her eyes. Fury and fear, she had recognized. It was clear that Agent Danvers was under an extreme amount of stress and was in no mood to be dealing with anything other than the crisis at hand. Lena could say the same for her own self at that point._

_“Agent Danvers, a Kryptonian just visited my office threatening to show me just how powerful she really was by throwing me from my own balcony. So yes. This really is the time.” Lena interrupted, brushing her way past the agents who had attempted to reject her entry into the building._

_“Oh God, she didn’t actually…?”Alex’s eyes widened and she waved off the guards and guided the CEO to an empty conference room nearby for a private conversation._

_“No.” Lena omitted an explanation of just how close she’d been to learning what it was like to fly- sans any aircraft._

_“It’s the red kryptonite. It’s fully infected her system now. I’ve developed a reversal treatment for her but we haven’t been able to pin her down to administer it.”_

_“That’s why I brought this.” Lena didn’t waste any more time and hoisted the large case she’d hauled all the way from L-Corp._

_“What’s this?” Alex looked from her to the case. Lena deftly unlatched the case and lifted back the top._

_“In simple terms: a really big gun.”_

_Alex stepped forward and gawked at the weapon. “And in not simple terms?”_

_“It’s a gun capable of light amplification by stimulated emission of radiation.”_

_“So it’s a laser gun? Ms. Luthor, Supergirl is bulletproof and shoots lasers from her own eyes, this-“_

_“Is outfitted to emit a concentrated beam of kryptonite radiation that’s been carefully calculated to disarm only. So yes, this should pin her down just fine.” I hope, Lena added in her own head._

_“Kryptonite?!” Alex hissed, spinning to glance back out to the DEO lobby through the blinds. She crossed to the window and yanked them down quickly. “Where on Earth did you get kryptonite?!” She spun back to Lena._

_“Agent Danvers, time is of the essence here. Perhaps any discussion you wish to have with me regarding the origins of this weapon could wait until after this situation has been handled?”_

_“Oh, there will be a discussion. That I can guarantee.” Agent Danvers vowed with a glower._

_“I only have one requirement that must be met before I hand over this weapon-“_

_“Oh, you’re handing it over regardless of your demands.” Alex practically spat at her._

_“My demand is that only you be authorized to use this weapon, Agent Danvers. I don’t trust it with anyone but you.”_

_Alex’s stance softened visibly but her face reflected the same intensity. Lena snapped the case shut and closed the latches, placing a hand protectively over the top. Alex’s eyes darted from her to the case a few times before she spoke._

_“Okay. Consider it done.” She assented._

_Lena relaxed her hold on the case._

_“But you are not to leave this building until Supergirl has been safely brought in and we’ve had a talk about L-Corp’s decision to manufacture Kryptonian-specific weapons.”_

_Lena’s jaw clenched but she nodded her agreement. It was still clenched hours later when she sat at round table defending herself and her company against the DEO brass…_

_“L-Corp has claimed that they conduct zero research or manufacturing of weaponry. How do you explain this weapon then?”_

_Lena no longer cared to keep track of which official was asking her the question. They seemed to all be having great fun raking her over the coals for the past two hours._

_“The manufacturing of this weapon was funded solely by my personal resources, L-Corp was not involved in any research in regards to it. None of my data was so much as stored in L-Corp’s system and the lab utilized in its creation was my own private one where no staff member has been or is ever allowed to step foot.” Lena clarified as calmly as she could. It was hard, with Agent Danvers’ scowl deepening with every word she’d said._

_“And you claim this has no correlation to any long-standing anti-Kryptonian sentiment previously expressed by the Luthor family?”_

_“None at all. If you recall, I personally called the authorities and later testified-“_

_“Yes, we’re well aware of your supposed role in the event. But you said you had ‘utilized personal resources’… now why would those personal resources include the kryptonite compound?”_

_She drew in another calming breath. It would not help her case for her to snap at these arrogant so-called ‘bureaucrats’._

_You are not the enemy, do not make yourself sound like one, she reminded herself before replying._

_“Following my brother’s incarceration, I became the recipient of several properties that had previously been in his name. One of these properties was a bunker that had been reinforced with various security measurements and defenses, kryptonite among them.”_

_“And the location of this bunker?” One of the men sat forward with his pen to paper, waiting expectantly._

_“I am declining to release that information, as is my right, afforded to me by the constitution.”_

_A deathly silence fell over the room. Lena remained as she was, sitting perfectly straight, chin high._

_“Young lady,” Lena bristled at being addressed in such a way and was almost so distracted by her outrage that she nearly missed the words following after. “the constitution does not exist in this building. The DEO does not operate under normal government rulings and it is given many… liberties, shall we say, in regards to how it does operate.”_

_Those words settled like ice on Lena’s skin. The expression Agent Danvers was now sporting was one of warning. Something about her face said ‘please don’t test them’. But even if DEO officials had no moral principles, she still did._

_“Well then, I am declining to release the location of the bunker on the grounds that I do not recognize the authority of this organization.” She substituted._

_The official at the head of the table fixed her with a glare, his jaw tightening._

_“Ms. Luthor,-“ At least now he addresses me properly, Lena mused. “I would suggest that you take some time to think long and hard about the situation you have found yourself in today. At this time I am calling a recess to this meeting. We shall continue this discussion tomorrow at 0800 hours.” He huffed._

_One by one the officials filed out of the conference room until she had been left alone with Agent Danvers._

_“Lena, you need to cooperate with us on this. It’s for the best if-“_

_“The best for who exactly?” Lena challenged, her patience had worn thin. “Supergirl was brought in less than 8 hours ago, I’d like to hear what she has to say about a clandestine government agency- which it turns out answers to no governing body whatsoever- taking complete control of a substance toxic to herself and her cousin!” Lena stood quickly from the conference table and had turned towards the door._

_“Supergirl has already agreed that the compound should be confiscated.” Agent Danvers informed her._

_Her steps halted and she looked back over her shoulder._

_“She has?”_

_“Whole-heartedly.” Alex confirmed._

_It was like a dagger had been twisted into her chest. Everything she’d done to prove herself as trustworthy to the hero had been for nothing. Well not nothing, of course. Everything she’d done had been the right thing to do. But still, she’d thought that Supergirl would have grown to trust her as a result. The kryptonite gun hadn’t looked good for her, she knew that. But it had performed exactly as it had been designed to, leaving Supergirl unconscious but unharmed. Although maybe Supergirl hadn’t seen it that way. Maybe she’d only been fooling herself. She turned to face the conference room door once again._

_“The abandoned steel mill just outside of town.” She found herself uttering with a sigh. “The bunker is beneath the warehouse. Take it for all I care.” She strode from the conference room with as much pride as she could muster, although her chin was not as high as before._

* * *

At 9pm exactly she checked the security cameras covering the emergency exit door of her private lab. As they had planned, the Danvers sisters stood in the alleyway waiting for entry. Kara in her Supergirl gear and Alex in her DEO issued cargo pants and black, long sleeve quarter zip. Lena fortified herself with a deep breath before she swiped her access card to unlock the door and swung it inwards. The sisters hurried inside, shooting a few last furtive glances down the alleyway.

“No one followed us from the DEO. I’m certain of it.” Kara said in lieu of a greeting after the door had closed securely behind them.

Alex said nothing. Instead she began scanning the laboratory with a critical expression.

“Good to know. I’ve sent a majority of my staff home early this evening, with the exception of my security team that is.” Lena explained.

“And you trust the members of your security team?” Alex spoke up from her silent observation. The agent had moved from the entryway deeper into the lab and was perusing the diagrams that Lena had set out on the nearest lab bench in preparation.

Lena hesitated but decided to go with honesty in her answer.

“In truth, no. Not with something like this, I wouldn’t trust any member of L-Corp staff necessarily. Which is why none of them have access to this lab, nor will they be informed as to what research is conducted here.” She explained.

Alex nodded but didn’t look away from the lab bench.

“And exactly how secure is this lab?” She questioned.

 _Don’t be defensive. She’s only trying to protect Kara, same as you,_ she reminded herself.

“The door you’ve just come through, as well as all the walls of this building, are made of reinforced steel that requires my personal id card for access and as I’m sure you noticed there was no handle on the outside. It’s strictly there for an emergency exit in the event of a lab mishap. Other than that door, the only other access point is the elevator which does not open to any other floor in this building aside from my personal office. My office requires a key for entry which is only held by myself and my personal assistant, Jess. The elevator itself requires a 14 digit code, known only by myself, as well as a scan of my retina. Will that suffice, Agent Danvers?” She couldn’t help but add.

Alex moved on to stand before the whiteboard containing the project outline but didn’t answer.

Lena looked to Kara as if to say _see, I told you so_. The blonde responded with an apologetic look of her own.

“It’ll have to do.” Alex finally replied and turned around to look at Lena for the first time since arriving. She made her way over to rejoin Supergirl and Lena.

“But I still have questions about this project. Many of them.” Alex ignored the pleading look that Kara was aiming her way.

“Of course. I’d expect nothing less.”

“My first question is about the testing process. I’m not putting Supergirl in armor that we aren’t sure even works and exposing her to a toxic substance.” She stated, crossing her arms. Lena matched her stance with a quirked brow.

“Neither am I. There wasn’t a question in that statement but I’ll assume you’re asking how else will we test the prototypes? I already have the answer to that problem. If you’ll recall, I’ve worked with kryptonite before. When I was in the process of developing that laser gun I devised a program to measure the output of kryptonite radiation. We’ll be using that same program and putting the sensors inside the prototype suits. No risk at all to Supergirl.” Lena asserted confidently.

Alex nodded, seemingly satisfied.

“Speaking of my previous kryptonite project… I don’t suppose the DEO would have any copies of my blueprints for that would it? It would be helpful to use those as a jumping off point to reverse engineer from.”

The Danvers sisters shared a glance.

“The original hardcopy was destroyed but there was a copy scanned and uploaded to the system. I could download a copy of the file onto a drive tomorrow.” Alex offered. Finally she seemed to be loosening up.

“That would be a great help. I might be a genius but even _my_ eidetic memory can’t recall the schematics with perfect accuracy after so many months without having seen them. I worked with what I could remember to devise a starting point for the first prototype.” Lena led them over to the lab bench and began to point out her original sketches.

“Ohhh, pants!” Kara exclaimed, snatching up the page for a closer look.

Lena held back her laugh.

“Well yes, pants seem the logical choice due to the actual physical coverage that they provide. That is the point of _armor_ after all.”

“I love it already!” Kara’s enthusiasm brought a smile to Lena’s face and even Alex was softening further.

”Maybe if all goes well with this new suit I could be your exclusive designer?” Lena quipped, smirking.

“I’m sure we could make some sort of deal on that.” Kara teased back with a wide smile.

Alex’s eyes darted between the two of them.

“Well don’t get too excited yet. We have a long way to go.” The agent pointed out, taking hold of the page from her sister. “But this is a very promising start.” She complimented. “Now tell me more about this composite material here.”

Lena leaned forward with interest and launched into an explanation. She felt her hopes rising. Finally it seemed that she and Agent Danvers were putting their own egos aside and finding common ground. For Kara’s sake at least. Lena knew that the reason Alex was always so difficult towards her was because she was always protecting Kara. Looking out for her sister like any responsible older sibling should. Lena still remembered a time when Lex had been similar. Never quite on the same level as Agent Danvers of course, but then again, the stakes had been lower in Lena’s case. But that had been a very long time ago.

The discussion between the pair of them grew in depth with Kara jumping in every so often with either a suggestion or words of encouragement. Otherwise the blonde seemed content to watch them interact with an approving grin. And on that went for several hours. Until all of Alex’s questions had been handled and Lena had gone over every aspect of her design with excruciating detail. When she had finished Alex faced her with her arms crossed once more, expression contemplative.

“Alright. I think this just might work.” She nodded.

“I plan to _make_ it work, Agent Danvers. And while I understand that this type of engineering isn’t precisely in your wheelhouse, I would greatly appreciate your further input on this project. Your knowledge of Kryptonian physiology alone will be imperative to the success of this suit.” Lena matched her stance.

“I’m in. I can join you here after my shift at the DEO and monitor your progress.”

“And by _monitor_ Agent Danvers just means that she’ll-“ Supergirl tried to intervene but Lena cut her off with a scoff.

“Oh I know very well what she meant, Supergirl. But your effort is appreciated.” She added. “Thank you both for stopping by. Agent Danvers, I so look forward to working with you on this.”

Lena turned to show them out.

“Likewise, Ms. Luthor.” Was all Alex said as she followed her to the door. “Same time tomorrow?”

“I’ll be here.” Lena swiped to open the door and held it for the agent who walked through and headed down the alley without looking back. Supergirl, however, hesitated on the threshold.

“I’m sorry, Ms. Luthor. Believe it or not, that was actually her on her best behavior. I’ll talk to her again, I promise.” Kara’s eyes were pleading forgiveness.

“Don’t bother. I don’t blame you. I don’t blame her either. She’s just trying to protect you, I understand that. Eventually I’ll get her to see that I’m trying to do the same thing. All the quality time we’re about to spend together will do wonders for that.” Lena reassured her friend.

“You’re an amazing woman, Ms. Luthor.” Kara’s words were soft, almost as though she hadn’t meant to say them out loud. They made Lena’s eyes widen regardless. “I just don’t want her to make you feel like anything less than that.”

Lena found herself no longer able to hold Kara’s gaze. Her cheeks heated and she ducked her head to hide that fact.

 _You’re an amazing woman…_ Kara had told her that before. As _Kara_. The first time she had really let the journalist into her life. Into her heart. Had let Kara see the actual mess inside her head. And Kara hadn’t so much as flinched. _Woman of steel indeed._

“T-thank you, Supergirl.” She finally allowed her eyes to gravitate back to Kara’s where they wanted to be. “If I’m amazing it’s only because you inspire me to be.”

The words slipped from her mouth before she had the time to contemplate if they were appropriate. And judging by the flush of Kara’s cheeks, she had been pushing it with that.

 _Oh well, I couldn’t possibly regret them when she looks at me like that as a result,_ she decided, losing herself in those darkened blue swimming pools.

“Supergirl! The more time we spend in this alley, the more suspicious it looks!” Agent Danvers called, startling both of them. The trance holding them broke.

“Right. Well, goodnight Ms. Luthor.” Supergirl finally crossed over the threshold into the alleyway.

“Goodnight.” Lena echoed, not closing the door until the Kryptonian had slipped into the shadows.

After the lock engaged she leaned her forehead to the cool metal.

_That half inch of space is shrinking, Lena. And yet it feels as though it’s a half a mile now…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Too much pining? Maybe. My regrets? None.


	4. An Old Incident, A New Gift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canadiancop, you better stop before I mess around and fall in love with you (OBVIOUSLY please don’t stop, you give me life)!! Thank you to all who leave comments!! It really does motivate me :) In fact, it motivated me so much that this chapter was almost 10k words but then I realized I had to calm down and stretch things about a bit, so 2k of those words got shifted to later chapters ;)

Kara made her displeasure known to Alex as soon as they arrived at Alex’s apartment. Having flown her sister home and followed her inside to change into her everyday _Kara Danvers_ attire, Kara now stood arms crossed and frowning at Alex who was busy uncapping a beer for herself.

“It was completely unnecessary for you to give her the third degree like that, Alex! Lena did nothing to deserve that and it was totally unfair of you!” She hissed.

Alex simply tipped back her bottle and took a long sip.

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?” Kara asked, further irritated by Alex’s silence.

The short-haired woman sat her beer down with a sigh, leaning on her hands against the kitchen counter.

“Look, Kara, it was nothing personal. I was just doing my job, alright? I’m sure Lena would recognize that. And aside from being your handler at the DEO, I’m also your sister. So my looking out for you and protecting you doesn’t just stop when we leave work. That’s all I was trying to do, Kara. That’s all I’m ever trying to do.”

Kara let her shoulders drop slightly. She knew that her sister was protective of her. She was protective of Alex too, though something did have to be said for the intensity with which Alex looked out for her. Eliza Danvers had always put pressure on Alex to perform the _big sister_ duty. Kara had wished many times that her sister had never had to take on that job. She had practically stolen Alex’s childhood because of how she’d struggled to assimilate into Earth’s society. Then again, she had thought just as many times, if not more, of how lucky she was to have had Alex there to guide her- to _still_ have Alex here to guide her. Her sister was a constant ally in her life that she had always been able to count on. She supposed that she had been taking that for granted lately.

“I know that. And I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you do that, Alex. But it worries me too sometimes.”

Alex frowned at her admission but Kara didn’t give her the chance to interrupt.

“You have your own life to live too. You have more than just an adoptive alien sister to look after. And no- I’m not talking about your other duties at the DEO! I’m talking about yourself. When was the last time that you went out and treated yourself and relaxed and had fun, Alex? Heck, when was the last time you went out on a date with Maggie that wasn't planned two weeks in advance in accordance to your work schedule?”

Alex frowned at her words. Apparently really taking the time to think about her question. So Kara took her silence as her answer.

“See? That’s what I mean! You don’t have to protect me 24/7 anymore. Lena is trying to help. Why won’t you let her do that?”

“Because there’s only so much help she can give when she doesn’t know who you are.” Alex replied quickly, almost as though she had been prepared for that question.

“I realize that… which is why I think it’s time that I tell her.”

Alex blinked once, twice, three times.

“You think what?!” She choked out. “Kara, you can’t be serious?”

Now it was Kara’s turn to frown. Her irritation flaring higher. Turning suspiciously towards anger.

“Lena deserves the truth. She has more than earned it after everything she’s done! She should have been told ages ago. After the Red K…” Kara swallowed hard. The memory of that night was still fresh in her mind. She didn’t think there would ever be a day when it wouldn’t be. The thought of it made her want to crawl out of her own skin. Leave behind this body that had been so easily overtaken…these lips that had spewed cruel words…these traitorous hands…

* * *

_The rush of the air on her skin was exhilarating. The chill of it awakened her senses further. She allowed them to stretch out around her, taking in the sounds of the city below. Thousands of people going about their lives. Their silly, pathetic lives. Lives so small compared to hers. Insignificant in the shadow of her legacy. Her birthright. And they had the audacity to try forcing her to conform to their tiny world? Making her pretend to be just as helpless as the rest of them. Stumbling around in her glasses and cardigans as Kara Danvers. She was not Kara Danvers._

_She was the matriarch of the distinguished House of El. The House that had aided in the ruling of the planet Krypton for generations. A tradition she would have continued…_

_Kara Zor-El._

_That was her name. That was her heritage. These humans didn’t understand that. They didn’t see that she was a god compared to them. They came to her with pleas of helplessness and she, in all her benevolence, saw fit to give them aid._

_Save them from bullets. Extinguish their fires. Stop their missiles. Humans were such a clumsy race. If they weren’t busy trying to kill each other, then they were one misstep away from killing themselves half the time. Perhaps she should stop intervening so often? That was how you taught a child to behave, wasn’t it? Show them the consequences of their actions. Let them learn for themselves what happens when you played with matches. She was tired of cleaning up their messes. Didn’t she deserve more than this? Than babysitting mere mortals? Yes, it was about time that she got to do something for herself. Be selfish and unapologetic. And she knew just where to start…_

_As she had expected, the lights were still on in the office of Lena Luthor, despite the late hour. Of course Lena was still working, when wasn't she?_

_“No. I believe you are the one who is mistaken, Mr. Summers. I ordered those supplies to arrive before this quarter ended. You do understand how stocks work, don’t you? I would certainly hope that you do considering the business you conduct. So would you like to tell me what happens to L-Corp stock if this product isn’t ready for market by the start of the next quarter?”_

_Kara picked up on the phone call Lena was conducting. A nervous sounding man was stammering to reply on the other end._

_“That’s right. They would go down. And that tends to make my investors very unhappy. Unhappy investors make me unhappy. And when I’m unhappy, I tend to make rash purchases- such as buying the companies that screw me over, that way I don’t get screwed over again. Do you see where I’m going with this?”_

_“Y-yes, Ms. Luthor. I understand. I can promise you that your order will be filled this week. I will personally deliver it if need be.” The man hurried to reassure the businesswoman._

_“That is very comforting to hear, Mr. Summers. And a wise decision on your part. I’ll be expecting it by Wednesday. Otherwise, I’d suggest you look into exploring other business sectors.” Lena hung up before Mr. Summers could respond._

_“Like McDonalds, I hear they’re always hiring.” She huffed, leaning back in her chair._

_Kara touched down onto the balcony harder than usual. She couldn’t explain the draw she'd felt that had led her here tonight. Anticipation thrummed in her veins. The blonde waited, observing the brunette in silence. Lena hadn’t noticed her arrival yet. She remained in her chair, head tilted back, fingers massaging her temples before smoothing back into her hair. The CEO sat at her desk in the same commanding manner she had when Kara had first met her._

_‘And who are you, exactly?’ Lena had greeted her like she had been just another unassuming human. She had introduced herself as Kara Danvers then. Perhaps a re-introduction was long overdue?_

_She didn’t knock this time. The lock on the balcony door snapped easily under the force she’d exerted on the handle and she strode inside with confidence._

_Lena jumped at the sharp sound her entrance had made._

_“S-supergirl?” Dark brows furrowed as the CEO stood from her desk quickly. “What-?”_

_“Good evening, Ms. Luthor.” She greeted coolly. Feeling the woman’s eyes follow her as she made her way across the office at an unhurried pace._

_“Is- is something happening? What’s the emergency?” Lena had questioned her with obvious concern._

_“Hmm? Oh, no emergency. Just thought I’d drop in.” Kara replied over her shoulder. She reached the liquor that Lena always had sitting on out on the bureau at the far side of the office and helped herself to a glass, half filling it with expensive scotch._

_“Well, I thought you’d have a reason for breaking the lock on my door when I could have easily opened it for you if you had waited a minute longer.” There was incredulity in her voice. And something else too. Wariness?_

_“Oh relax. You’re rich. Just buy another.” Kara shrugged, tossing back the scotch in one gulp. “Mmm, I’ve never cared for human alcohol but this is good stuff. Too bad it doesn’t have an effect on me.” She mused._

_Turning she found Lena still standing behind her desk. Clearly confused as to what was going on. Lena’s eyes dropped down to scan her outfit._

_“That’s a new look for you.” Lena commented, arching a perfect brow._

_“Do you like it?” Kara smirked, completing a slow, full spin to show it off. It was simple enough in design. Sleek and black with the detailing of her house crest over her breast in lethal red._

_“It’s certainly…different. Seems to fit this new attitude just fine.” The Luthor crossed her arms slowly, making a show of not being intimidated. Kara’s smirk widened._

_“Oh, you noticed that too, did you?”_

_“Kind of hard to miss. You’re not exactly subtle about it.” Lena glanced at the knob that dangled limply from the balcony door._

_“I think I’m done with subtly. It’s awfully boring. Utterly human in concept.” Kara hummed. For added drama she tossed the empty crystal tumbler, no doubt worth a pretty penny, at the wall. Lena flinched as it shattered, green eyes widened at her disregard._

_“Supergirl-“_

_“I’m getting so tired of that name.” Kara cut her off with groan. “Supergirl help me! Supergirl save me! Supergirl- ughhhh! That’s not my name. I’m done answering to it.” She began to stride her way back across the office. Lena stayed behind her desk, using it as a preemptive barrier. A move that didn’t go unnoticed by the Kryptonian._

_“Am I making you nervous, Luthor?”_

_“You’re making me worried.” Lena didn’t miss a beat in her reply. Her heartrate kept steady. A truthful response, Kara decided._

_“Worried? What would you have to be worried about? Do I seem dangerous to you?” The blonde’s smile twisted into something cruel. Lena watched Kara’s progress across the room with a critical eye. After a long minute the CEO’s expression changed. It softened. She uncrossed her arms and made to step out from behind her desk, albeit slowly._

_“You seem… lost. Like you maybe need some help?” She offered quietly, still scanning the face of the Kryptonian._

_Kara faltered, as if she had been physically struck by Lena’s words, but she recovered just as quickly._

_“Help?” She scoffed. “I knew you had a god complex, Lena, but what help do you think you could possibly offer me?” Those words had felt wrong leaving her mouth but she hadn’t been able to stop them._

_“How about a friend?” If Lena’s earlier words had been soft, then these ones were a whisper._

_But Kara’s heightened sense of hearing caught them as if they had echoed. A harsh, strained laugh ripped its way from her chest._

_“Supergirl doesn’t have friends.” She uttered darkly, brushing past the brunette and stepping back out onto the balcony. She rested her hands on the railing, overlooking the city._

_Lena followed her with slow movements. Kara found herself annoyed by it. She was bulletproof, and here was Lena Luthor treating her- the Woman of Steel- as though she was a fractured piece of glass!_

_“You have Kara Danvers…”_

_Another scoff. Oh the irony. The only friend that Lena thought she had turned out to be her own self._

_“And you have me. If you’ll have me, that is?”_

_Her breath caught in her throat._

_If only you knew, she thought. Would that offer still stand if you did? Or would you hate me for having lied to you for so long?_

_“You don’t know me.” Was her reply._

_And you never can, she reminded herself. Because all these power-hungry, ignorant humans want to do is destroy me. They fear what they can’t control. And I won’t be their pawn any longer. Her irritation was being stoked higher now. And yet she couldn’t pinpoint its source._

_“I may not know your name. But I don’t need to know that to know you. I know you through your actions, Supergirl…” Lena had used her title cautiously. “You’re one of the most incredible people I know. I understand a little bit about what it’s like… to be ripped from your home and have to start over somewhere new. Not to the extent that you do, of course. But the way you’ve risen from that- made yourself into this symbol that stands for justice and hope while fighting for good. That’s inspired thousands of people. Myself included. I know that ‘Supergirl’ isn’t your name… but it is a part of who you are. And even if that’s the only part of you that I know. That’s enough for me to go on.”_

_She could feel Lena’s eyes on her back. Was it strange that she could always sense when Lena was looking at her? Except this time it wasn’t giving her that same feeling in her stomach. This time she could hardly feel anything at all. She was strangely cold, numb even. Something wasn’t right._

_This all felt wrong. **She** felt wrong._

_“I don’t need any friends. And I don’t need your help.” Her grip on the railing tightened. “It’s you humans that need mine. Every day, all day, all these people do is demand my help. Can you imagine how exhausting that is?” Her eyes scanned the streets far below. Watching as the people on the sidewalks went about their night. People that would never understand her life. The greatness expected of her. But Lena…_

_“I’ll bet you can… You experience it too, don’t you? Lena Luthor…Rich. Powerful. A genius. Oh yes, you know what it’s like…to be considered a Goddess in your own right and yet be surrounded by the ordinary. The mundane. You know what it’s like to be pestered for their help. And then they have the audacity to hardly give you the credit for it.” Kara turned to lean against the railing, facing Lena now._

_“Instead they turn their backs on you- for being different- for being a Luthor. Don’t you ever get tired of playing the hero? Especially knowing that the moment you step a toe out of line… make a single mistake… they’ll say you were always a villain.”_

_Lena’s jaw tightened and Kara caught the way her throat bobbed as she swallowed hard._

_“Truth hurts, doesn’t it? If it makes you feel any better, they’d do the same to me. In fact they will, soon enough…” She shrugged._

_Lena’s pained look morphed into one of deeper concern._

_“What do you mean by that?”_

_“I mean that I’m done playing by their rules. Answering to their every beck and call. I’m going to be doing things my way from now on. Leave the mortals to deal with their own petty squabbles. They’re beneath me.” Kara glanced over her shoulder at the city and then back to Lena. “They’re beneath us both.”_

_She could see the confusion written on Lena’s face. The shorter woman continued to scrutinize her. Kara wondered what it was that she was looking for. The sheer focus that Lena was placing on her made her want to squirm. But she was holding firm. Something was holding her firm. She didn’t know what it was that was possessing her. These couldn’t be her thoughts, could they? Couldn’t be how she really felt, was it? Her thoughts ceased as Lena stepped forward and into her personal space._

_“Something is wrong with you.” Lena had whispered this comment so low under her breath that it was possible she hadn’t meant to say it aloud at all. Her hand reached for Kara’s cheek, eyes staring hard at something she had seen there. Her fingertips were warm in contrast to Kara’s wind-chilled skin. With a glance over Lena’s shoulder Kara saw for herself what had drawn the brunette’s attention. A streak of red pulsed just beneath the skin of her cheek._

_She’s right. Something is wrong with me. This isn’t right. This isn’t safe. I need to get out of here- away from Lena._

_But her body didn’t move. Not to flee at least. The surge of panic had her acting on instinct. Before she could realize her actions, she had grabbed hold of Lena’s wrist tightly and pulled the hand away from her cheek. Her panic heightened. She wasn’t in control of herself. These weren’t her actions._

_“Don’t touch me.” Her words spat like venom. But they weren’t hers. Where had they come from?_

_“You don’t have to be scared, I can help-“_

_“I am not afraid!” Faster than Lena’s human eyes could track, Kara’s other hand came to the throat of the shorter woman. Lena’s eyes widened at the threatening pressure. She made a grab for the wrist at her throat but Kara’s grip was like steel. She couldn’t possibly force it away._

_“You know nothing about me! You don’t know me! You don’t know what I feel!”_

_Rao, where had this rage come from? It was burning her from the inside. Suffocating her lungs so badly in the smoke that she couldn’t even manage a scream._

_“O-okay, you’re right. I don’t know you. Not well enough for you to trust me. I get that. But we both know Kara Danvers. And I trust Kara. And I know she trusts you. And if she trusts you… well then that means I do too.” Lena hurriedly gasped out._

_And Kara could see the trust in those eyes. Mixed with terror that made her stomach turn. Seeing that tinge of fear that she had been the cause of. She willed herself to release her friend. But her hand didn’t budge, except to squeeze just a bit harder._

_“Kara Danvers… she’s weak and soft. Too human.”_

_Lena’s eyes narrowed, detecting the hateful tone in Supergirl’s voice._

_“If you hurt her, I swear-“_

_“You’ll what? Finish what your brother started? How very sisterly of you.” Kara all but snarled._

_“I know that Kara wouldn’t want that for either of us…But if that’s what it takes. Then yes. I would. And I would grovel for her forgiveness afterwards and most likely and rightfully never receive it. But so long as she was okay. I could live with that.” The ferocity of her words seemed to surprise Lena herself._

_It had certainly had the same effect on Kara._

_For me? She would do that for me?_

_“That’s assuming you’d have the chance to try.” Kara’s body spun, pressing Lena against the railing so that her shoulders were pushed over the edge, only her toes making contact with the balcony floor._

_No! Stop it! Stop! Why was this happening?! Please stop! She begged of herself._

_It was as though she was looking over her own shoulder. Watching as her body moved of its own accord. These actions weren’t her own but she could do nothing to stop them. Some kind of wall had been erected in her mind, pushing her to the back and letting something else take over. Something twisted and cruel._

_“You d-don’t want to do this.” Lena had grabbed onto her with both hands now._

_“You always think you know everything, don’t you?”_

_“Not everything. But this- I know this. If you did want to, you would have done it already. Something is clearly affecting you right now. I don’t know what or how. But I know that there’s still some part of you fighting it off. This isn’t you, Supergirl! I know that much. And so do you!” She challenged._

_And so Kara pushed harder against the wall in her mind. Terrified of what might result if this was a fight that she lost._

_“I need you to keep fighting it, Supergirl! Please…” Lena urged her, voice cracking as she plead._

_And for a second the wall budged. And Kara slipped through. Just enough to force herself to release her friend and throw herself backwards against the office windows. Staggering to regain her balance._

_“Lena, I-“ She gasped out._

_Kara meant to apologize- to explain what was happening inside her mind. But she could already feel her control slipping. She had to leave. She needed to get away from Lena- from all of National City before someone got hurt. The wall was already being pushed back towards her. She didn’t have enough time to explain. She lifted off from the balcony, throwing as much power into her take off that she could. Leaving Lena to slide down against the railing and gather her breath._

_The brunette’s stuttering heartbeat played in her ears as she fled._

* * *

“I should have told her after that night. I would have, if she hadn’t been so furious with Supergirl for siding with the DEO afterwards. She put everything on the line for me. To _save_ me. If she hadn’t stopped me…” A shudder passed through her. The memory of her hand wrapped around Lena’s throat. The feel of her pulse racing beneath her fingertips. “Even after I threatened her _life_ she didn’t turn her back on me. I’ll never forget that. How can you?”

Alex dragged her fingers through her hair with a sigh.

“Kara, listen to me-“ She tried.

“Unless the next words out of your mouth are supportive, I don’t think I will.”

With that Kara spun on her heel and began heading for the door. Her mind set on her decision. She made it as far as the living room before Alex called out to her.

“She’s a Luthor, Kara. Think about that!”

Kara saw red. Halting and spinning on her sister with a new kind of fury.

“How _dare_ you?! I cannot believe you would still judge her by her last name after everything?!”

Alex cursed under breath, shaking her head.

“I didn’t mean it like that. That came out wrong.” She backpedaled. “The point I was trying to make is that Lex is her brother, Kara. Her brother! And he is watching her. Closely. That much is obvious just by the fact that he sent her that delivery in the first place. Telling her will only put you at risk but you’re too close to see that. You need to back up and get some perspective here. Because if you tell her, you’re putting Lena in the crosshairs too. She’s already at risk as it is. What do you think Lex would do to her if he found out about her newest project? And I know you don’t want to put her in danger, Kara. You don’t think I see how much you care for her, but I do. Believe it or not, I’m looking out for the _both_ of you now.”

Kara stood frozen, hands shaking even as she clenched them into fists. Heart shuddering within her chest as she tried to make sense of everything going through her head. Any way she looked at it Lena was in danger. And worse, she would get hurt- she would finally know that Kara had been lying to her. Betraying her trust at nearly every turn.

“I’m trying, Alex... I’m trying so hard to keep her safe. To keep myself away from her and close at the same time and it’s like I’m being torn in half.” Now it was Kara’s turn to pull at her hair. Letting out a shaky breath and dropping herself onto the couch.

“Then let me help. You’re not the only one with a plan here, Kara.” Alex crouched down in front of her, placing her hands comfortingly on her sister’s knees.

“What plan would that be exactly? Keeping her in the dark about me? Because I can’t keep this up much longer! It’s killing me but it’ll kill her too once she finds out and I-“

“Kara! Breathe!” Alex interrupted her tirade, grabbing onto her flailing hands. “I agree that Lena should be told. I do. But I need you to wait until this passes. Until we know what Lex is doing and put a stop to it. He’s watching, Kara. And we don’t know how much he’s seeing. This is not a risk that any of us can afford to take right now. Please tell me you understand that?”

A deep sigh left her body but she felt no more relaxed for having released it. Instead she just felt tired. Drained to the point of exhaustion by her very own brain as her thoughts waged battles against themselves.

“I understand.” She relinquished. It felt like surrender but she would certainly not liken it to mercy.

“And I understand that you feel guilty for lying to Lena. I’ve been feeling the same way lately.” Alex admitted. “But _safety_ is what needs to take priority right now. Agreed?”

Kara gave a slow nod.

“Alright, then here’s my plan. Lena is making you some protective gear, I think it’s only fair we make her something too. And by _we_ , I really mean we get Winn to do it because I think we both know mechanical engineering is a little out of our realm of possibilities.”

“What kind of something?”

As Alex explained her idea, Kara felt some of her anxiety settle. It was a necessary precaution for them to take. And it would certainly help her peace of mind. Hopefully she could get Lena to see it that way…

It took Winn only a few hours the next day to complete the project they had given him. He met them at Alex’s apartment once he’d finished. When he handed her the case, Kara eagerly opened it and smiled at its contents.

“Well, what do you think? Is it what you wanted?” He clasped his hands together nervously.

_It’s beautiful,_ Kara thought giddily. Examining every detail closely. Winn had replicated every aspect she had explained to him with precision.

A delicate looking bracelet lay on a black velvet cushion within the box. It’s thin, silver chain connecting various faux emerald stones. They looked quite real to Kara, though she supposed that Lena would be able to tell the difference. The millionaire CEO had no doubt seen her fair share of precious gemstones… A sliver of doubt crept in. Would Lena cringe at wearing a cheap alternative? Although, in reality, the bracelet was anything but cheap. That was thanks to the tiny power cells concealed within the false emeralds, each capable of powering a small city block by themselves. Not to mention the state of the art miniscule transmitter embedded into the clasp. She ran her thumb over that portion of the bracelet, unable to stop the smile that pulled at her lips as she felt the raised edge of the symbol imprinted there. Imagining how it would adorn Lena’s wrist.

“Winn, it’s perfect! You totally nailed my design!” She grinned.

Alex leaned over her shoulder to check it out for herself.

“Meh, I liked my design better but hey- as long as it works, I don’t care what it looks like.” She grunted.

Kara rolled her eyes at her sister’s indifference. The look of it _did_ matter. And thinking of why brought a flush to her cheeks that she’d rather not have to explain to Winn right now. So with great care she closed the thin, rectangular case and tucked it into her bag. It wasn’t heavy but she felt a new weight on her shoulder from it all the same.

“Oh, it works. Those power cells are rated to last almost indefinitely. And the signal transmitter? Well, I don’t mean to brag, but I’m fairly confident that baby would send data from an alternate universe if the need arose. It’ll transmit directly to your phone Alex, and the security for that program is so tight that if I hadn’t made it, I don’t think even _I_ would have been able to crack it.” Winn smirked, crossing his arms in a self-satisfied manner.

“Good. Thanks for the help, Winn. We’ll owe you one.” Alex nodded to him.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. In the grand scheme of things I’m sure it’s balanced with all the times you’ve saved National City, I do live here too, after all, so that includes saving me.” He expressed with a shrug.

“And that other gift we asked for?” Alex prompted.

Winn reached into his pants pocket and withdrew a thumb drive.

“Got it right here.”

“And no one will know that this was copied from the system?” Alex double checked as Kara reached out to take the drive from him, sliding it into her own pocket.

“Wow, this is really what it feels like to be a secret agent, huh? Nope. No one has that kind of access but me.” He assured them with a wink.

“Great. Kara, you better get that where it needs to go, quickly as you can manage.” Alex glanced her way.

“And- just to clarify- I don’t get to know what these things are for?” Winn asks seemingly nonchalant.

“Winn, we already told you. Details are on a need-to-know basis for now.” Alex stressed.

“Right, no, I get that… But does Maggie know? Because if she gets to know then I feel like I should-“

“No, Winn. Maggie isn’t involved. This is just- between me and Alex, right now, okay? It’s like- a sisters thing!” Kara jumped in to help cover.

“Right. Danvers sister adventure only. Got it. I’m not jealous. Who’s jealous? Not me.” Winn shrugged, looking away pointedly.

“Winn, you know we trust you. It’s just- we need to make sure as few people as possible know about this. Do I need to remind you of the karaoke incident two years ago?” Alex raised her brows.

“Oh my God! That was one time! Once! I drank too much and you know what I’m like! I didn’t mean to spoil Kara’s birthday surprise!” Winn gasped, exasperatedly. “How many times to I have to apologize about it?”

Alex shot her sister the _make-your-escape-now_ look as she kept Winn suitably distracted.

Kara nodded and headed for the door. The quickest way, of course, would be for her to fly to L-Corp as Supergirl. But this wasn’t something she wanted to do as _Supergirl._ She wanted this to be something from her. From _Kara…_ Plus, she would need the extra time it took her to get across the city by posing as a human to further memorize what she had planned to say to her friend. Following Alex’s logic, she wasn’t going to be revealing her identity to Lena, _for today at least_. But she was going to tell her the truth about the bracelet. There was no way she could just slip a tracker onto Lena and pretend it wasn’t a huge invasion of privacy if the brunette didn’t know what it was. She may have to keep up her old lie to Lena about her identity, but she would be damned before she told a new one…

She had, perhaps, gone a bit overboard in regards to lunch, Kara thought as she looked at the coffee table. It was covered in what could have been considered a four course meal with a takeout box of pot-stickers serving as the centerpiece. But oh, well. She had no regrets.

Now all that was left to do was call up Lena from her lab. Releasing a suddenly nervous breath, she held her phone up to her ear. It rang only once before Lena picked up.

“Good morning, Kara.” The CEO answered.

“Morning? Lena, it’s almost 3pm…”

“Oh, I guess- hmm, you’re right. Oops, lost track of time.”

“Sounds like someone’s been working too hard again. Have you even had lunch yet?” She tested her friend.

“Umm… well, no. But I promise I’ll have Jess send out for something. It’s just that I’ve been busy in the lab today.” Lena explained herself.

“Jess already sent out, I’m in your office now and I’d hurry if I were you, before I eat your half.” She teased. A warm chuckle came through the line.

“I’ll be right up.” Lena announced.

When Lena emerged from her private elevator Kara heard the empty growling of her stomach almost immediately.

"You know, when I told Jess to allow you to be shown in whenever you needed, I didn't think she'd give you unsupervised access to my office. I certainly hope she hasn't done that for anyone else." Lena greeted her with a smile.

"I thought I was the only special one. How many people have you told her to let in right away, exactly? Should I be jealous?' Kara smiled right back, falling into their teasing banter easily.

“You know I'm much too paranoid for that." The CEO chuckled. 

Lena's smile remained, yet Kara could tell she was tired. Could read it in the way her shoulders dragged just a bit and how her eyes had taken on a certain dull quality aside from their usual brightness.

“Coffee only gives you the _illusion_ of being full, I’ll remind you. I thought this might help a little more.” She shrugged, draping her arm over the back of Lena’s couch.

Lena crossed the office to join her.

“And you just _happened_ to know that I hadn’t eaten because…?”

“It was a joint effort. Jess may have casually mentioned that fact.”

“But you were the one to call ahead, knowing full-well that was a possibility?” Lena guessed.

“Hey, if you’re complaining, I can take all this food home with me. I won’t _force_ you to eat.” Kara raised her hands.

“Oh, don’t you _dare_!” Lena reached for an egg roll and bit into with vigor, nearly moaning at the taste. Kara laughed, enjoying the genuine look of contentment that had overtaken the tiredness of Lena’s features. 

“I take it you’ve been busy in the lab this morning?” She asked, reaching forward to grab a pot-sticker. Lena nodded as she swallowed.

“Mmhmm, almost ready to start the first prototype.”

Kara’s eyes widened.

“Already? I thought you’d said were meeting with Supergirl and Alex _last night_. There’s a prototype already?”

“There’s _almost_ a prototype.” Lena corrected her. “But it should be ready for testing by the time that Alex gets here tonight, yes.”

“But I thought- well, aside from wanting to see you and making sure you were okay, Alex asked me to bring you this.” Kara quickly wiped her hands before pulling the thumb drive from her pocket. “She said you’d need this to get started on the suit.”

Lena’s eyes locked onto the drive briefly before they jerked suddenly to her office windows where the shades had been drawn closed. When she turned back she accepted the thumb drive quickly and stuffed it into the breast pocket of her blouse.

“And Agent Danvers deemed it a good idea to give such sensitive information to her very own sister to just traipse across National City with in her pocket? Alex shouldn’t have asked you to do this! What was she thinking? Do you have any idea how dangerous what you just did was? Did Alex inform you of that?” The shorter woman sounded suddenly frantic.

Instinct had her reaching to grasp Lena’s hand. Effectively pulling the woman from whatever dark cloud of thoughts were swirling behind those green eyes.

“I was well aware of what I was doing, Lena. And I was very careful. I had Alex tracking me the entire way here. Both her and Supergirl agreed that _CatCo journalist Kara Danvers_ was less likely to draw attention compared to a flying superhero or a not-as-conspicuous-as-she-thinks-she-is government agent.”

Lena nodded slowly but Kara wasn’t sure if she had truly heard what she’d said.

“Hey, I promised you that I would be careful and I’m keeping that promise.” She spoke softer this time.

Lena nodded again, this time uttering a quiet _th_ _ank you,_ and Kara’s eyes were drawn down to where the brunette’s thumb was now brushing over the back of her hand. Such a small gesture but it filled her with instant warmth. Like she was holding a portion of the Earth’s yellow sun in her hand.

_And speaking of being careful._

“I- uh, I have something else for you too.” She broached the subject carefully.

_Breathe, Kara. You planned this whole speech, remember? So just stick to that and you’ll be fine. Whatever you do, don’t start rambling…_

But with the way Lena’s eyes were so focused on hers she was having a hard time already recalling her so-called ‘memorized’ words.

“Please tell me Alex didn’t have you bring along a hard copy of those schematics.” Lena chuckled, breaking the tension that had suddenly fell upon the room. But Kara got the feeling she was only half-joking.

“No! No, of course not.” She hurriedly replied.

“Oh, good.”

She saw Lena’s eyes drop to their hands again. And then the brunette’s wrist turned, almost casually- except it felt anything but casual because now Lena’s fingers were half entwined with hers.

_Words? What were those again?_

“Kara?” Lena prompted.

Kara’s head jerked up from where she’d been looking at their nearly interlocked hands to find Lena looking at her once again.

“Huh? Oh, right. Just let me-“

Kara made a one-handed reach for her bag, refusing to remove her other hand from Lena’s. Fumbling briefly, she grinned in victory when her fingers finally wrapped around the rectangular box. Lena stared at it as soon as she had pulled it out and turned towards the CEO. Her eyebrows had risen with familiar curiosity.

“Here.” She murmured, holding it out to her friend.

“W-what’s this?”

“Open it and you’ll find out.”

She had expected Lena to roll her eyes at her teasing, maybe even chuckle. But she seemed too entranced by the box. By the possibilities it held.

Kara mourned the loss of contact as Lena released her hand to accept the gift. She held her breath unknowingly as she watched Lena open it and freeze, staring down at its contents. But much to Kara’s delight, Lena’s heartrate betrayed her thoughts. It was racing.

“It’s beautiful.” She murmured. 

Kara’s heart swelled at the praise and her breath caught in her throat. Suddenly this had become one of those moments. Where time moved a little slower and the world felt a little smaller. Where Lena looked at her like _that_ and Kara knew that her friend felt the same as she did. Felt more.

And yet Kara knew what she had to say next would shatter the moment. So she savored it for as long as she felt was safe and then spoke again.

“It’s from all of us. Me and Alex and Supergirl too. Oh, and Winn technically, he made it. He just doesn’t know why he did.” She revealed and watched the adoration in Lena’s face morph to confusion. The moment dissipated.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s not just a bracelet. It’s actually a tracking device as well as a distress signal, if needed. We all talked about it, and we figured as long as you’re helping Supergirl like this, you needed protection. More protection, that is. Once the clasp is engaged it will begin transmitting your location. If, at any point after being engaged, the clasp is reopened or the chain is broken it will emit a distress signal to Alex's phone. But once it is broken you should try to keep it with you because it will continue to update your location afterwards.” She explained as Lena silently absorbed her every word.

“Oh, I see.” The brunette let out a half-hearted chuckle. “A good thing it’s a bracelet and not a necklace I suppose... Wouldn’t want it to actually _feel_ like a dog collar, right?”

_She hates it…_ Kara’s heart withered. She’d failed. Utterly and completely failed.

“I-I didn’t think this through, did I? I’m sorry, Lena. I was hoping my design would make it seem less _impersonal_ -

“Your design?”

Kara swallowed but nodded.

“Alex was going to have Winn make it as an official government style watch but I knew- well, I thought you’d like this better. But you hate it. And you have every right to-“

“No! That’s not- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. Not the way it came out. I just- It’s beautiful, Kara. You designed it perfectly.” The CEO managed a soft smile, though not for long. “I don’t hate it. I just hate that it’s necessary… It makes the situation…more _real_ , I guess…makes me realize that I could very well be Lex’s target this time.” 

Kara studied the tension in Lena’s jaw as she spoke and found herself shifting closer, pressing their shoulders together. The tiredness was once again evident on Lena’s face.

“Hey… we’re not going to let that happen. We’re all in your corner, Lena. You’re not alone. If Lex tries anything aimed at you, he’s going to get a lot more than he bargained for. But we’re not going to let him get that chance. I _promise_ you.” Kara vowed, her hand settled onto Lena’s knee.

By Rao’s light, she would protect Lena.

“Thank you, Kara. For everything.” Lena’s eyes dropped down to the bracelet once more and that small smile had made its’ way back to her lips. “You were right, I do like the bracelet. Especially this part.” She chuckled, running her finger over the symbol on the clasp. Kara’s grin widened. The tiny crest of the House of El had been imprinted there. _Her emblem._ Kara’s heart expanded once more.

“Supergirl just couldn’t help herself, I guess.” She uttered.

“Right. Tell her thank you for me. And Alex too. It’s very thoughtful of them and I appreciate it. Would you?” Lena lifted the bracelet from the box and held it out to Kara. Offering her wrist once Kara had taken ahold of the jewelry.

Rao, were her fingers actually shaking?

Lena murmured another soft _thank you_ as the clasp clicked shut. Kara tried not to focus on the symbolism of it. Of the tiny crest now decorating Lena’s wrist. It wasn’t ownership. She would never even dream of owning or possessing Lena. On Krypton, the sharing of a House crest didn’t equate to ownership. It was a sign of respect and honor. A tradition handed down for generations. She wanted to explain that to Lena. She just couldn’t do it right now. _Kara Danvers_ wasn't supposed to have that kind of knowledge of ancient Kryptonian traditions… No, she would have to wait until the next time _Supergirl_ saw Lena. But Alex had advised her to ‘chill out on the balcony visits’…so she didn’t know when precisely that would be.

The CEO continued to examine the piece now encircling her wrist. Kara could practically see the gears turning in her head. It was clear the brunette was contemplating the mechanics of the device, as Kara had expected her too.

“Winn mentioned to me countless times that the system is extremely delicate. Maybe he was just trying to show off but maybe try to resist your curiosity and _don't_ tinker with the inner workings of the transmitter?" She advised.

“I’ll try to restrain myself.” Lena replied with her signature quirked half-smile.

“Good. Now, back to the matter at hand: eat.” Kara ordered, passing over a disposable plate for Lena to fill under her watchful eye.

For the next half-hour, it felt as though they had been transported back to before the kryptonite showed up. It felt _normal_. Well, as normal as they’d ever been.

Up until a knock sounded on the door and Jess called out to them.

“I’m so sorry to interrupt, Ms. Luthor. I know you’re not technically in the office today but Andrea Rojas is on the line. She insisted you would want to speak with her.” 

Lena’s brow furrowed but she invited Jess to come in. The assistant took a few steps into the office, glancing between the two women on the couch.

“What would that be in regards to?” Lena prompted.

“She mentioned something about your current project.”

Kara’s eyes widened automatically and she caught Lena’s own look of shock as well.

“My current-?”

“Yes, the uh-“ Jess paused to double check the note she held. “The reconstructive visual lenses…”

Only when Lena’s shoulders relax did Kara find herself breathing again, relief surging.

“The lenses. Of course, the lenses.” Lena repeated with an absent nod.

Jess gave a tilt of her head.

“It’s not like you to forget about your projects, Ms. Luthor. Has a certain someone managed to distract you from work? Who would have the power to do that?” The assistant looked knowingly towards Kara. 

On reflex the blonde began to fidget, suddenly looking anywhere but at Jess. Lena, on the other hand, simply cleared her throat and smoothed out her pencil skirt in her lap.

“I’ll take the call in just a moment. That will be all, Jess. Thank you.” The CEO firmly dismissed her assistant who turned and sauntered out with a grin.

“I’m sorry, Kara. I completely forgot about this deal. Andrea was supposed to get back to me days ago.” Lena apologized, standing from the couch.

“It’s no problem, Lena. My work here is done anyway.” Kara rose along with her.

“Thank you, for lunch, and well- everything.” Lena’s hand drifted up to her blouse pocket.

“Of course. If you need anything, I’m just a call or text away, you know that.” She spread her arms invitingly and Lena stepped into the hug easily. As the brunette’s chin rested on her shoulder Kara breathed in the scent of lilies, comforted by the familiarity of it. And disappointed a moment later when Lena pulled away to head for her desk phone. With a parting wave and smile, Kara made her way out.

Only to nearly run into Jess once she’d stepped into the hall.

“I tried to call her up from the lab six different times this morning when Ms. Rojas’s office kept calling… Yet one call from you and she abandons her project for _lunch_ of all things…”

Taken aback by Jess’s opening comment, Kara couldn’t even muster a response before Jess continued.

“Matching her eyes was a good choice…”

“E-excuse me?”

“The bracelet... it matches her eyes. That was a nice touch. Safe to say you have her attention. Then again, you had it before the bracelet, you know?” Jess winked and turned on her heel, sliding gracefully into the chair behind the receptionist desk. “But I’d advise you to consider your intentions carefully, Ms. Danvers. Lena Luthor is a very powerful woman and a force to be reckoned with. That alone should be enough to persuade you to watch your step. But I’ll remind you that _assistants_ can powerful too, in their own way. We tend to notice things that others don’t… hear things… we have connections…”

Kara frowned. Jess, who had never been anything other than sweet and nice and charming, suddenly threatening her? That’s what this was, wasn’t it? A threat? Her mind raced to comb through Jess’s dialogue once more. Nothing about her tone had been overtly malicious…just _cautionary_ …

But as she opened her mouth to question the woman, the phone at the desk rang. Jess calmly smiled and wished her a _lovely rest of her day_ before answering.

“Thank you for calling L-Corp. You’ve reached the office of Lena Luthor. She’s currently on a call but I’d be happy to take a message for you…”

Jess’s voice followed her as she reluctantly made her way to the elevator.

_How much does Lena really know about Jess?_

She made a note to have Winn do a deep dive into the assistant’s background. If there was anything sketchy there, he would find it for sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can we just talk for a second about the fact that ‘Jess’ literally appears in ONE scene in the show (S02, E04) and has maybe 1.5 lines and yet we have elevated this character to practically a legendary status in so many stories? How very non-canon of us. Love that.  
> Hmm, wonder if that bracelet will come in handy later on? Too obvious with that foreshadowing? I mean, it’s in the tags anyway lol  
> Originally when just bare minimum drafting this chapter I had Alex giving Lena the bracelet when she meets Lena for testing the prototype… ahaha what was wrong with me? And miss that fluff opportunity? I must have been out of my mind.  
> Lastly, can someone tell my if my POV feels weird, because to me it does..? And I can’t explain it?


	5. Old New Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is 10k words too much? Asking for a friend…  
> The chapter before the angst really hits is the absolute worst to write bc I just want get to what’s about to go down. But anyways, here’s that chapter ;)  
> For those of you in the science community who I’m about to offend I’d like to offer you this formal apology in advance. What you’re about to read is fake-science. Yes, I was trying to make it sound impressive while doing minimum research ok? This stuff is way above my pay grade.  
> And idk if y’all care, but we’re upping the language rating now because things be heating up

Lena’s mind was still reeling. And not because she’d recently become 17 million dollars richer through the sale she’d negotiated with Andrea. She remained sitting at her desk after the call had ended. The bracelet rollercoaster had rocked her so thoroughly that she’d very nearly miscalculated the projected worth of her lens project. Selling it had been the best move for her to make. Especially now that she had a more imperative project on her plate- one that would certainly require the extra capital considering the price of the alloy that she had selected. But now that she had sorted that out, she turned her attention to the new accessory encircling her wrist.

It was a bittersweet sight.

When she’d watched Kara pull the box from her bag, she’d thought she’d been day dreaming. Opening it to see this gorgeous piece had sent her heart soaring with the hope of its meaning.

Only to find out she had been dreaming, in a way.

It hadn’t been a spontaneous gift after all. It was a sort of electronic leash…

That revelation had hurt her. There was no denying it. But she’d still heard Kara out. Listened to the blonde explain, all the while fighting to stop the newly made fracture in her heart from spreading like wildfire.

She’d found the most helpful tool for that was reminding herself that it came from a place of protectiveness. It wasn’t just a beautiful idea, it was a smart one too. That duality was something Lena could appreciate. That and the fact that Kara had personally designed it… It could still count as a token of affection in that sense at least. She hoped.

 _And what have I told you about hope, Lena?_ The memory of Lillian’s voice echoed.

 _Hope is for children and fools._ She recalled dutifully.

_You are far too old to be considered a child. So are you a fool then, Lena?_

_No, mother…_

_Prove it, then._

Lena pushed herself up from her chair. Deciding that sitting and stewing was not leading her in the right direction. But her mother had had the right idea. _Prove it_ she would. The best way she knew how. By taking action and getting results. She and Kara could talk circles around the ‘hidden’ elephant in the room all day, and they have before. But when it really came down to it, when backs were against the wall, they showed up for each other. And that’s what Lena focused on. The fact that she could show up at Kara’s door step, or Kara hers’, and they could lean on each other.

* * *

_-How is she?-_

_Only hours after Lena had made her escape from the DEO following her impromptu kryptonite interrogation, she’d texted Kara. Assuming the blonde may have heard an update from Alex as to Supergirls’ condition. Her pride wouldn’t allow her to contact Alex directly. Not after the way she’d walked out._

_She wondered if Kara was already up to speed on the entire ordeal. If she knew that Lena had built the gun… had resisted turning over the kryptonite… And to top it all off, she had pointblank threatened Supergirl on her balcony! What would Kara think of that? Kara, who so loudly proclaimed Lena’s innocence and had championed her redemption of the Luthor family legacy at every turn. Here she had provided Kara with the perfect evidence as to why she shouldn’t be supported. What was it that Supergirl had said on the balcony?_

_‘…the moment you step a toe out of line… make a single mistake… they’ll say you were always a villain.’_

_She’d been right. Lena’s unanswered text was the proof that she’d been right._

_What made it all worse was that it hadn’t even been a mistake. Lena had consciously made her choices. Every step was by definition ‘premeditated’. And now she would face her consequences. Alone._

_She sat on the living room floor of her empty penthouse, nursing a bottle of wine, not having bothered with the concept of a glass. What would the point have been? She knew she would end up drinking the entire thing anyway. Pointless to dirty a glass in the process, really. So she sat and she drank and she waited. Her phone remained silent as the bottle in her hand became lighter and the tears she’d been holding back spilled carelessly down. The wine was two-thirds of the way gone when she caught a glimpse of her reflection in her penthouse window. It was a pitiful sight. Hair disheveled. Makeup in ruins. Cheeks tearstained and red. She rubbed away the makeup at least, using the sleeve of her designer blouse as a towel, not caring about the stain it left there. Raising the bottle towards her mirror-self she gave a toast._

_“Congratulations, Lena. You really are a Luthor now. Mother would be proud.”_

_She tipped the bottle back and drank some more. Her text remained unanswered._

_Sunlight glaring through the living room windows woke her the next morning. Her body’s protest of her sleeping arrangement was obvious as she pushed herself up from the floor. She sat there for a moment, wincing in the glare from the windows. The sight of her phone taunted her but she forced herself into a state of calm. Drawing in a fortifying breath, she reached out to awaken the screen._

_No missed calls. No messages._

_The reality of it was hard to swallow but she managed._

_Basic needs, Lena. Shower. Breakfast. Go from there. She coached herself as she continued her rise from the floor._

_For once she was happy to have a headache. It helped to suppress her higher thought processes. Her thoughts didn’t seem like a good place to be right about now._

_She had only made it to the entrance of her bedroom when a knock echoed through the penthouse._

_She froze and listened. Had she imagined it? No, there it was again. Louder this time. Followed by a hesitant voice._

_“Lena?”_

_Her mind blanked for a moment. Disbelief rooted too deeply to be overcome so easily. It took another knock before she jerked into motion. Stumbling her way to the door, swinging it open just as Kara had started to knock a fourth time. They both froze._

_“Kara...” She uttered the blonde’s name to remind herself that it was in fact her friend standing in front of her. Because she nearly didn’t recognize her._

_She’d never seen Kara so exhausted. There was no hint of her usual smile. None of the normal warmth behind those blue eyes. Instead they were… haunted. It chilled Lena to the bone. She wasn’t seeing Kara. She was seeing her shadow. A tortured, twisted shadow._

_“Kara-“_

_But she couldn’t get anything else out before the blonde launched herself at Lena. Throwing her arms around her neck and hugging her tightly. Lena reacted instantly, returning the embrace despite her shock. The penthouse door swung closed as she released it to hold the blonde against her. She could feel the tremble that was shaking through the taller woman._

_“Kara, my God, what is it? What’s happened?” Her stomach took a drop._

_Had Supergirl’s recovery taken a turn for the worst? Had there been some unexpected side effect?_

_Oh, God. What had she done?_

_Kara’s head buried tighter into her shoulder and Lena could feel her shaking it ‘no’. So she just held on to Kara tighter. Thinking of the times Kara had held her when she felt as though she was shaking apart. Kara held her together. And now it was Lena’s turn to do the same. She was determined not to fail._

_“Hey… hey, I’ve got you, Kara. I’ve got you.” She murmured, running her hands along her friend’s back comfortingly. She didn’t rush Kara to speak, just as Kara had never rushed her. She waited._

_When Kara did pull back, Lena found tears rimming azure blue eyes. The blonde was caught between struggling for words and gasping for breath it seemed. Her arms remained around the brunette, limiting the space between them. Lena busied herself with scanning the blonde from head to toe, making sure that the cause of her turmoil wasn’t physical. As far as she could tell, it wasn’t. Kara was dressed in jeans and a plain crewneck, though she looked as if that had been the first available thing to throw on after rolling out of bed._

_“Y-you’re okay… You’re okay. Thank Ra-“ Kara shook her head suddenly. “I- I heard about the balcony. What Supergirl did to you on the balcony… I-I’m sorry. Lena, I’m so sorry! She shouldn’t have- She didn’t mean to-“ Those tears spilled over now, cascading down Kara’s cheeks_

_“Hey, shhh, I know... That wasn’t her. I know that. Is she okay now? Alex told me she was awake but how is she?” Lena didn’t bring up the unanswered text, Kara was here now. It didn’t matter anymore._

_Blue eyes blinked twice._

_“S-supergirl’s fine. She’s recovering. Alex was able to get the treatment to her thanks to you. And it’s thanks to you that no one… no one else got hurt…“ Kara trailed off, her watery eyes glanced down to Lena’s neck. It was only then that the brunette remembered the faint marks that lay there. Fading, but still visible, especially since she had wiped away the cover-up she’d been using onto her sleeve. One of her hands moved to cover the exposure quickly, but not quickly enough._

_“Oh, Lena…“ Kara’s chin trembled anew with fresh tears._

_“No, no, no. I’m fine, really. I know these- they look bad, but I don’t even notice them. She didn’t hurt me.”_

_Kara’s hand slid over top of hers at her neck. So careful and soft. As though she was afraid that motion might cause discomfort._

_“She did though… Your bruises, Lena… The things she said… And then she almost-”_

_“She told you what she said?” Lena cut in. Thinking it might better benefit her friend’s state of mind if they didn’t bring up her near brush with gravity._

_A slow, miserable nod._

_“So you know? About all of it?” Lena swallowed hard._

_It was possible Kara only thought that she knew the whole of it. And that’s why she was still here. Because she didn’t know what Lena had done…_

_But Kara nodded again. And Lena wished she could take that as her full answer. But she had to make sure for herself that Kara knew the whole story. It would only look worse for her if she unintentionally hid the truth._

_“Here, let’s uh, let’s sit down.” Lena offered as much for Kara as for herself._

_They made their way to the couch and settled onto it. Lena purposefully leaving space between them but being unable to relinquish the hold she’d taken on Kara’s hand. She’d savor it for as long as Kara offered because it was very possible, she thought, that after her next words, her friend might pull away._

_“So you know that I threatened Supergirl… Right before I made a weapon specifically designed to use against her.”_

_The confusion in Kara’s eyes sent Lena into a spiral of panic. She prepared for the worst. Desperately trying to shut down her emotions before they got the better of her._

_“Lena, what you did protected the people of National City when they needed it the most! The DEO would have done the same thing if they’d had the technology that you did. Or half the brains. You are a hero for what you did. You’re the hero that I always knew you were. And now everyone gets to see it too.” Kara offered her a watery smile and brought her other hand over to squeeze overtop of Lena’s._

_Now it was the CEO’s turn to blink in surprise. She wondered if Kara could tell her hands were shaking beneath the tight grasp she was keeping on them._

_Kara still backed her. She understood and she was still here. A sad smile ghosted over Lena’s face. She felt guilty for having doubted the blonde but what else was she to have thought when Kara didn’t respond to her?_

_“Thank you, Kara. It means a lot that you still believe in me. Even after all this mess. I’ll admit, when you didn’t answer me last night, I was worried. For a minute… I doubted you because I was doubting myself. But you didn’t deserve that, and I’m sorry.” She admitted._

_“What do you mean answer you?” Kara’s brows knotted together._

_“I… I texted you. Asked you how Supergirl was doing. I know you and Supergirl are good friends. I figured Alex would have been giving you updates.”_

_“My phone…” Kara’s frown deepened for a minute and then a look of realization came over her. “I dropped it. Yesterday, I was- I was out covering the Supergirl story. I was trying to get as many eye witnesses that I could but- Supergirl, she was making a mess of the city at the time and there was debris flying everywhere and I just- I dropped it and ran.”_

_“Kara, my God, are you okay? Did you get hurt?” Lena’s eyes made to rescan the woman before her. Had she missed any cuts and bruises? Were there bandages peeking out from beneath her crewneck?_

_“No, no I’m fine. I was lucky. A lot of people were really lucky. Lucky that you stepped up as the new hero of National City.” Kara added with a smile. But Lena dropped her gaze._

_“I doubt everyone will see it that way. I don’t think Supergirl does, for starters, or your sister.” She mentioned._

_“What? Why do you think that?”_

_“The DEO came after the kryptonite I’d used. They wanted to confiscate it and I refused. But Supergirl insisted that the DEO was right… That I couldn’t be trusted with it.” The brunette’s head hung low._

_“Lena, I’m sure that’s not why… You should talk to her. I’m sure she has an explanation.”_

_“Well, I’m not sure I want to hear it.” She asserted stubbornly. “They can say and do whatever they want to me, I don’t care. So long as you- so long as the people I care about are safe. I did what I had to do to keep them safe. Supergirl included, even if she doesn’t appreciate me for it. They can think what they want. They can call me the villain for it. It doesn’t matter anymore.” Lena ended with a sigh._

_“You are **not** the villain. Supergirl must have a reason for how she reacted. Just… take some time for yourself, however long you need… but please consider letting her explain herself.”_

_Lena nodded absently. She didn’t realize it but one of her hands had drifted to her neck again and she gently touched the fading bruises._

_“I’ll think about it… But for now, I’m not too interested in listening to what she has to say.”_

_Kara swallowed and swiped away the remaining moisture on her cheeks._

_“She has a lot to make up for. And until she does, she has no right to ask anything of you… but I do have something to ask of you, Lena.” Kara’s eyes had followed Lena’s hand to those bruises. “I need you to promise me something.” Kara sat up straighter, turning to fully face her head on._

_Lena matched her posture and waited for her to continue._

_“If something like that were to ever happen again- I pray that it doesn’t- but if it does… I need you to promise me… promise me that you won’t put yourself in harm’s way. Not for Supergirl. Not even for me.”_

_“Kara-“ Lena frowned._

_“Promise me. Please, Lena.”_

_Red rimmed, blue eyes are pleading and God help her because she can’t resist those eyes._

_“…Okay, alright.” She uttered, but the blonde shook her head._

_“Say it. I need you to say it.”_

_Lena sucked in her lips, contemplating what she was about to do._

_She was about to lie to Kara. Right to her face. For the first time. She debated what it would achieve and decided that the small deceit was necessary. It would put Kara at ease and by extension, Lena, while she knew that Kara was also safe._

_“I promise I won’t put myself in harm’s way…”_

_Kara released a shaky breath, and leaned in for another hug which Lena gladly gave._

_Just this one lie, she promised herself. Just this once… for both of their benefits._

* * *

This time only one Danvers sister awaited her when Lena opened the emergency door to her lab. Alex stood in the shadows of the alley dressed in her normal civilian attire.

“I didn’t have Supergirl to fly me so I figured it would be best to blend in.” She explained when she noted Lena’s brief look of surprise at her unprofessional outfit. The leather jacket was shrugged off as she entered. Lena pointed her towards the coat hooks along the wall where she could exchange it for a lab coat.

“So long as you can work in it.” She commented. “You’re just in time for the initial testing of prototype 1.” Lena gestured to the admittedly rough-looking suit that had been arranged on a wire mannequin in the center of the lab.

“Prototype? It’s been 24 hours and you’ve already made the first prototype?” Alex’s eyebrows rose and she remained frozen in her spot.

“Mmm, it’s been 24 hours since we’ve talked but it’s been roughly 36 hours since the very inception of this project… so, yes, I’ve made a prototype. What did you expect me to do last night? Sleep?” Lena allowed herself a chuckle, enjoying the look of shock on the agent’s face.

 _Surprised or impressed? Perhaps both,_ she decided.

Lena stood a little taller in her pride, shaking off the exhaustion that had settled on her shoulders since Kara’s visit earlier that day. The blonde’s unexpected appearance at her office had refreshed and revitalized her. Whenever she noted the new weight on her wrist or her eyes caught the shimmer of green there, she felt the effects all over again. Though she did indulge herself in a few brief moments of rest while she waited for her alloy synthesizer to manufacture enough material to begin constructing the suit. But those moments had been few and far between and the latest of which had taken place hours ago… maybe? She couldn’t be sure. Time in the lab moved differently to her.

Alex’s brows came down slowly into a furrowed frown.

“Lena… You don’t have to push yourself so hard to try and prove yourself to me. I _do_ trust you… You think I would have shot Supergirl months ago with a kryptonite laser gun that you’d given me if I didn’t trust that you weren’t trying to hurt her?”

Lena swallowed.

That exact logic hadn’t crossed her mind before. It made sense, she supposed. And it was certainly nice to finally hear it out loud from Alex herself, separate from Kara’s assurances. Still, Lena opted to remain aloof. Not all-together comfortable with exposing any vulnerability of hers to Alex Danvers quite yet. Especially when there was work to be focusing on.

“I appreciate you saying so, but you flatter yourself, Agent Danvers. I wasn’t doing this for _you_.”

 _It’s for Kara_. Is what she doesn’t clarify. But she gets the feeling that Alex understands that without her having to say so.

“Right… I’m sure if Supergirl were here she would express her thanks.” Alex offered.

 _Oh, spare me this charade again._ Lena barely contained herself from rolling her eyes.

“Are you ready to initiate testing?” She pressed onwards eagerly.

Prompted into motion, Alex made her way to the coat hooks to exchange her jacket.

“Kara only got the drive to you this afternoon… I thought you would need it for the prototype? You just went ahead without it?” Alex frowned at her from across the lab now.

“I decided to try some new ideas. I can always make adjustments with this.” She flashed the drive from her blouse pocket. “But it’s important not to get stuck in thinking there’s only one way to achieve a goal. Multiple avenues need to be explored. Especially if you’re trying to determine the most efficient method.” She explained, turning to boot up her computer system and pull up the program she had designed to measure kryptonite radiation. Alex nodded her understanding and joined her at the bench.

Aside from the whirring of the computer system, a silence settled over the two of them for the moment. Lena wasn’t ready to categorize it as a ‘comfortable’ silence quite yet.

She debated bringing up her concern over having _‘Kara Danvers’_ deliver the drive earlier today. They had no idea exactly how they were being watched. If they even were for certain. And she doubted Kara had passed along Lena’s concerns to her sister.

_She’s not less noticeable as ‘Kara Danvers’ to me… And if Lex is watching me, that means he’s watching Kara too._

But she didn’t think that would go over well as a topic of discussion under their tentatively built trust right now.

“I was worried you wouldn’t wear it.”

It was Alex who broke the silence, nodding to the bracelet on her wrist.

“Why wouldn’t I want you to be able to constantly monitor my whereabouts?” She hoped Alex would pick up the humor in her tone. But in case she didn’t, Lena continued on. “I find it oddly comforting, to be perfectly honest. Which is something I never thought I would say… Then again, it’s a situation I’ve never thought of being in before. So I’m doing my best with it.” She added truthfully.

The corners of Alex’s mouth tilted up _just_ enough for it to be considered a smile. The raven-haired woman congratulated herself on managing to not offend the agent with her response.

The program finished loading and she moved to place the sensors within the suit.

“I’m placing the sensors throughout the suit of course, but I’ll be focusing primarily on the major target zones of the chest and head regions. At least for the first few trials. Those are the areas we should be the most concerned about protecting so we want to be certain we get the most accurate readings there. Of course, these assumptions are based on my limited knowledge of Kryptonian physiology. Should I be making any adjustments?” She glanced back at the agent and paused from attaching the sensors to the inside of the chest piece.

“No, Kryptonian vitals are pretty much identical to humans in regards to location.”

Lena nodded, placing several sensors on the anterior portion as well as the posterior and sides to cover all angles. Others were placed throughout the interior of the helmet portion and the rest were scattered among the limb regions. She made her way back to the computer bench and double checked the system.

“Control testing of sensors shows they are all up and running. All sensors are recording the same initial kryptonite radiation level at 0.0%. Which should be correct as the suit is currently not being exposed to kryptonite.” Lena confirmed. “Agent Danvers, would you like to do the honors?” She motioned to the lead lined case that sat a precisely measured distance away from the prototype.

Alex swung around the bench and opened the case, glancing from the now exposed crystal to the suit. A faint green hue seemed to glow at the edges of the visor and along the outside of the crest that had been outlined- but not yet detailed- on the chest plate.

“The warning system has responded appropriately, notifying the wearer of possible kryptonite exposure.” Lena nodded with satisfaction, then glanced at the radiation levels and sucked in her lips. She hadn’t expected the first trial to be perfect, that was never going to happen in any experiment. But she had hoped for far better results than this.

“Kryptonite radiation within the lab is marked at 100%. Sensors read diminished values in comparison but not by much. The lowest is recorded by the posterior chest plate at 82.4%, the highest is equally reported in both upper limbs at 98.3%.” Her tone made her dejection obvious.

As they had discussed the day prior, Supergirl could tolerate exposure of 100% for approximately 120 seconds before it rendered her as powerless as the average human. Following that ratio, they had set an initial standard for the suit to limit radiation levels to as close to 25%- although, hopefully lower- for a period of 5 minutes total. The estimated amount of time for Supergirl to be able to extract herself from the situation before sustaining damage. They agreed that first and foremost, the suit should be an emergency escape mechanism for the Kryptonian. They could format it to account for actual combat situations later. Assuming they could get it to work in the first place.

“What’s this distance?”

“5 meters.”

“Ouch. Chances are they’ll get much closer than that.”

“I’ve marked out 10 meters on the floor, would you move the case to that location. I want to compare the levels from there.”

Alex did as asked and Lena ran the program again. Sighing at the results in much the same way as before.

“Marginally better, but I wouldn’t call it an improvement. There’s a long way to go here.”

“And this is just by emitted radiation. What happens if she gets hit with a concentrated blast? My guess is that concentration wouldn’t be set to stun like yours had been.” Alex mentioned, making her way back to the bench.

_Yes, thank you for reminding me of that fact…_

“Until I have the suit prepped to handle indirect radiation, I won’t even need to bother with a direct blast. There’s a lot of work to be done here.”

“Any idea as to a timeline?”

Lena couldn’t withhold a glare at that question.

“Not soon enough.” She glowered. “It’s difficult to pin down a timetable when you haven’t fully devised a process to rectify the issues. Of which the cause, or more likely _causes_ , are completely unknown.” Lena deadpanned.

Sighing she took a step back from her computer and crossed her arms, pulling her lower lip between her teeth to worry at it.

“Alright, so we start by isolating the issues the best we can.” Alex suggested, shutting the lid of the lead case.

Lena nodded her agreement but stepped back up to her computer. She ran the program again, waiting a few minutes while the room radiation level dropped back to zero. Yet the sensor levels remained stagnant. She refreshed it again. And again.

“This shouldn’t be happening…” She muttered under her breath.

“What’s that?” Alex made her way back to the lab bench and peered over Lena’s shoulder.

“These levels should be falling along with the room concentration… the fact that they aren’t means…”

“Could the molecules be adhering to the suit somehow…?” Alex frowned.

“That would be completely unexpected. Kryptonite doesn’t react that way with any other material that I’m aware of. And this alloy is supposedly the most nonreactive compound in existence, that’s entire reason I selected it for this project. I was hypothesizing that by using it as a coating for the suit material, it would slough off the kryptonite molecules. But that clearly isn’t what’s happening if these levels are any indication.” The scientist puzzled aloud.

“We should do a chemical analysis of the alloy now that it’s been exposed. Something about the material is clearly attracting the kryptonite molecules. It’s _preserving_ them even, if they haven’t dissipated like the airborne molecules.”

“I’ll que up the system. In the meantime, let’s take a peak under a good, old-fashioned microscope and see if we can’t find something there.”

Turns out Lena’s definition of _old-fashioned_ equated to a _state-of-the-art_ microscope that was more expensive than the rent Alex spent on her apartment…annually. Collected scrapings of the alloy were deposited onto a slide and Lena eagerly hunched over the eyepiece. Only to be further disappointed by what she found there.

“Well… I think we may have found our first issue.” She sighed, sliding off the stool to make room for Alex to look for herself. Lena fell into her habitual pacing in front of the whiteboard as she began brainstorming.

“It’s… _binding_ to the suit?”

“It’s binding to the fucking suit!” Lena confirmed in a hiss of outrage. “The properties of this alloy make it one of the most impenetrable materials in the universe. It was supposed to be a shield and instead it just lets the kryptonite latch onto it like a parasite!” She huffed and reached for an eraser on the board ledge, clearing a space to begin a new sequence of thought processes. 

“Okay… so we find a new material.” Alex proposes.

Lena shakes her head but doesn’t turn away from the board. She draws in a deep breath. Calming herself enough to give a response without turning her newfound frustration on an undeserving target.

“I contacted every source I have and even some that I’m not supposed to have to get my hands on this alloy. It was the most promising match. I don’t think we’re going to find another. The only thing we know that blocks kryptonite radiation for certain is solid lead. A lead coating doesn’t have the same effect. I tried that already ages ago. And we can’t exactly encase her in a block of lead. It would detrimentally limit her abilities.”

“Alright, so since it is binding- even though it shouldn’t be- then that means there’s some aspect of this alloy that is attractive to the kryptonite molecules. And since the molecules are being preserved, then it’s possible that some type of reaction is happening to allow that preservation.”

“And with the chemical analysis, we should be able to locate a byproduct to confirm that.” Lena worked off of Alex’s points.

“Exactly. From there, we reverse the chemistry to trace the compound of the alloy acting as a reactant. Then we isolate.”

“Then eliminate.” Lena finished with a nod. “So long as elimination doesn’t cause the degradation of the alloy...”

“We’ll cross that bridge when and _if_ we come to it.” Alex pointed out.

Lena nodded again and they began to work on setting up the chemical analysis in relative silence.

But in the brunette’s head there was anything but silence. She knew it wasn’t going to be easy, otherwise the DEO would have come up with this answer already. But she’d certainly hoped to be starting a little closer to the finish line than what they had. From here they couldn’t even see it.

Yet still under that feeling of disappointment, she felt the familiar and intoxicating thrum of passion. She loved to be challenged. To be forced to push herself to think above and beyond the scope of what was thought possible. But this was one challenge she wouldn’t be savoring. Kara’s safety was on the line and she didn’t have the time or patience to revel in the complexities of science.

It took several hours to complete the chemical analysis and the results matched what Alex had predicted. There were multitudes of byproduct detected and soon several whiteboards were covered in the list of possible reactive agents. And more testing ensued. A process of elimination that lasted until morning and left only three possible sources for the byproduct.

“Remember that bridge we talked about? We’ve come to it.” Lena announced.

They were both sat at the lab bench, bent over the sheets of data and research. Alex ran a hand over her face tiredly and looked over to the CEO.

“All three of these sources are necessary for the chemical structure of the alloy compound. They can’t be removed.” Lena explained, pushing a sheet towards Alex to observe for herself.

“Okay… so we don’t eliminate it… But what if we could alter it?” Alex posed.

“What are you thinking?”

“Earlier you said it was acting like a parasite. Right now this seems to be a symbiotic relationship between the alloy and the kryptonite molecules… but what if we could change it so that when the kryptonite molecules bind, they deactivate?”

“…and the shield becomes sabotage.” Lena murmured, her brain already whirring through the possibilities. Moving to the computer and rapidly typing.

“There was something I noticed in the lead trials that I ran ages ago. I was looking at the inhibition of radiation on a molecular level but I wasn’t able to fully isolate the substrate for the reaction. But once I realized the inefficiency of the lead coating I abandoned the trials.” Lena shook her head in irritation at herself.

“And if you can isolate that you think you could introduce it into the alloy compound?” Alex caught on. “You think that could work.”

“I’ll damn well make it work.” Lena vowed.

She busied herself by printing her previous experiment parameters and beginning the resetting of the chemical analysis, not noticing how Alex was eyeing her.

“Alright. Now that we have a new direction, how about we take a day of rest and come back to it with fresh eyes tonight?” The agent proposed.

Lena’s eyes never left her screen for her response.

“Hmm? Yeah, okay, should I expect you back at 9 again?”

“Sure, umm, do you- do you need a ride to you place?” Alex’s eyebrows pulled together in question as the CEO continued to type away.

“Huh? Oh, no, I’m good here. I’ll stay.” She replied. “I’ll have something to test by tonight. So long as I can reboot the system without delay...” Lena trailed off, mentally continuing her tangent rather than verbally.

“You’ve been here going on three days now, Lena. Don’t you think you should take a rest?” Alex crossed her arms.

“I do. I use the couch in my office when there’s nothing to do but wait for the systems to finish running their programs.”

Alex continued to stare at her.

“Okay, but have you considered _actual sleep_? And what about oh, I don’t know, showering? Eating? You know, the basics.” Alex crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows.

Lena didn’t even look up. But she did find it humorous, the fact that Alex thought she hadn’t planned for silly things like basic human needs.

“My couch is very comfortable, the showers in the employee locker rooms have excellent water pressure, and Uber Eats delivers.” She rattled off, only peeking over to the agent when she’d finished. “And yes I’ve brought a few changes of clothes as well. So I promise I’m good here.” She added with a slight smirk. She just couldn’t help herself sometimes.

Wisely, Agent Danvers didn’t try to press her any further.

It took three very long, very frustrating days for Lena to isolate the lead substrate. Only then did she submit to Alex’s- and now Kara’s, as the agent had called in reinforcements- insistence that she take a break from the lab. She abided them by spending a full 24 hours at her apartment, asleep for the large majority of that time. Then she was back to the lab with a fresh stock of clean clothes to hang in the lab supply closet that she had cleared. And on that cycle continued for several weeks. Lena worked at the lab until she reached a suitable goal then rewarded herself with a full day of rest. Having Alex around turned out to be more helpful than she originally thought. The agent was smart, there was no denying that. But she was also creative and resourceful. When came up with the solution to the issue they were having regarding the bonding of the substrate to the alloy, Lena had tried not to let her shock shown plainly on her face. She didn’t want to be rude, after all.

_“What college did you go to, again?”_

_“NCU.”_

_“Hmm, that’s too bad. MIT would have loved you.”_ She’d commented, much to the delight of Alex’s ego.

They worked well together. Dare Lena say they had bonded after three weeks of sequestering themselves in the lab for hours at a time? The only downside to the system they had developed was that Lena had seen or heard very little from Kara. She knew it was because they had all agreed that _Supergirl_ _and Kara_ should separate themselves from her a little more than usual for the time being. But every time her phone rang and Kara’s smiling face popped up on the screen she all but ran to it. They shared a facetime call every few days, after all, their phones were checked over for bugs every few days by Alex. Kara was worried about her. She made it known that she didn’t think Lena should be working herself so damn hard. But Lena insisted that she could take it. And Kara didn’t bring it up further after Lena pointedly asked her to _‘trust me on this’._ So Kara did and by the end of the third week, Lena and Alex had devised prototype 5 which was capable of reducing the penetration of kryptonite radiation down to 47.3% throughout the suit. A major victory. Lena predicted they would meet the parameters of the _escape suit_ by prototype 7. As excited as Lena was to be hitting that mile marker, she still found herself on edge. They hadn’t seen any signs of further movement on Lex’s part. It felt as though the pressure was only building.

“Lena.. Lena, wake up.” A nudge on her shoulder pulled her from the nap she was taking. Or maybe it was more accurate to say that the nap had taken her.

She jerked up into a sitting position, half-startled and still half-asleep. The papers she had been resting on fluttered with her sudden movement.

“Wha-? Is it done already?” She pressed a fist to her mouth to stifle her yawn.

“Not even close. But you are, for the night at least.” Alex answered from where she leaned against the bench beside Lena.

“Excuse me?” Lena’s eyebrows raised as she found herself more awake at those words.

“You haven’t left the lab in days, Lena. You need some actual rest.” The agent pointed out with her own challenging look.

“As soon as the alloy is synthesized-“

“It needs to undergo fabrication, I know. I can manage that just fine on my own, Lena. I’ve seen you do it five times by now.” Alex cut her off.

“But you need to-“

“Use the sterilization chamber. I got it.”

“You know how to use it…?”

“You hit the orange button, wait for the green light, place the alloy in the tray, then hit the green button. It’s not that complicated.”

Lena opened her mouth to argue. It _was_ much more complicated than button pushing. The sterilization needed to be verified and-

“Lena, the synthesizing alone won’t be done for hours. I’ll wait here for it to finish and place it in the sterile chamber. Once that finishes I run the verification program from your computer and then move it to the fabricator which will take several more hours. All the while you could be in bed at home getting some _real_ rest instead of passing out at your lab bench.” Alex crossed her arms, her tone firm. “And _no_ you’re not allowed to use your office couch anymore. Kara’s orders.”

“Agent Danvers-“ Lena meant to defend herself. To explain that this nap had simply caught her by surprise and she could push through now that she’d rested her eyes, at least for a few more hours. But a knock at the lab door caught her attention.

“That would be your ride home.” Alex answered her questioning look.

“You called my driver?” Lena patted the pockets of her lab coat but found her cell phone where she had left it. She was, however, missing her access card. Which she spied an instant later in Alex’s hand.

“No, but I did call you a ride.” Is all Alex explained as she crossed the lab to the door.

Lena followed her more out of curiosity than agreement to leave. When Alex opened the side door, Supergirl awaited them on the other side.

“Heard you needed a lift?” The blonde grinned, clearly pleased with herself over her pun.

Kar- _Supergirl_ , was going to _fly_ her home?

“That’s- this really isn’t necessary, thank you but-“ She began a protest.

“Oh no, Luthor. It really is. You’ve been working yourself to death down here and _I’m_ the one that’s going to get an earful from my sister over it. So go home!” Alex insisted.

Lena fought to keep her eyes from darting to Kara when Alex mentioned her. When she did turn to Supergirl, she saw for herself the spark of worry in those blue eyes. It had been a while since she’d seen the blonde in any capacity- as Kara or Supergirl. She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t overjoyed to see her now.

 _But the aspect of flying…_ Lena shook herself from the thought. _Don’t be ridiculous, she would never drop you._ But still there was the tiny nagging voice at the back of her head.

“Hardly any wind tonight, it’ll be a smooth ride.”

Kara had clearly read the apprehension in her face. Still she looked to Alex once more.

“Are you sure you don’t need me to write down the steps?” Which quickly earned her a glare.

“What happened to ‘MIT would have loved to have you?’”

“I didn’t mean-“

“Relax, Lena. I’m messing with you. I’ve got it under control here. I promise. Prototype 6 will be ready for construction when you arrive tomorrow- no earlier than 9am, mind you! And your lab will be kept pristine, as always.” Alex vowed.

She really had no other excuses to stay. She did believe that Alex had it covered. She’d proved herself to be more than capable. Still, Lena wasn’t one to be able to hand over control so easily. But she did. Because Kara was now offering out a hand to lead Lena out of the lab. And she took it despite her second thoughts.

“I’ll leave your access card just inside the door when I head out. Good night, Lena.”

“Good night, Alex.” She finally assented. Her rare use of the agent’s first name gaining the attention of both Danvers sisters. The lab door closed behind her and she was left alone in the alley with Kara.

 _No, with Supergirl_ , she corrected herself, resisting the urge to hug the blonde in greeting. She squeezed the hand she was holding instead.

“What happened to staying separated?” Lena asked at the same time she cursed herself for doing so. Who was she to be questioning this opportunity?

“It’s been quiet on all fronts so far. We haven’t picked up anything at the DEO or elsewhere. I’m willing to risk it if you are.” Kara answered quietly. The slight furrowing of her forehead gave away her nervousness. For her answer, Lena stepped closer.

“What is it you’re supposed to say? _Up, up, and away?_ ”

Kara smiled brightly and brought her arms to encircle Lena.

“Something like that, yeah.”

And then they were lifting off, slowly but steadily. Lena clutched her arms tighter around Kara’s neck and did her best not to look down.

“I didn’t know you were a nervous flyer… Don’t you have your own private jet? And helicopter?” Supergirl teased gently.

“Well, yes, and I know how each of those machines works and the physics that allow them to become airborne. How does your flying work?” Lena shot back defensively.

Supergirl frowned at her question.

“It’s one of my powers, it comes from the reaction of my Kryptonian genetics and the radiation of Earth’s yellow sun.” She replied, thinking the answer was already obvious.

“Yes, but _how_ does it work? What are the physics behind your body leaving the ground and flying at speeds that aren’t possible for any aircraft?” Lena pushed.

“Oh. I guess- I guess I don’t know…” She answered more slowly this time.

“Exactly my point. I like to know how things work. Because then you can figure out how to fix if it goes wrong. Which is comforting knowledge to have when your miles above the ground.”

Lena made the mistake of looking down at her own mentioning of the ground. Her knees weakened further and she quickly corrected her error. Thankfully they were soon touching down onto her apartment balcony, though she didn’t hurry to extract herself from the Kryptonian’s arms once her feet were firmly planted on something solid.

“Thanks for the ride.” She murmured, gazing up at Kara and trying not to blush.

“Of course… I was actually hoping we could talk for a moment.” Kara’s mentioned softly. The hero took a half step back, putting some space between them enough for Lena to regain the proper use of her brain.

 _Talk? About?_ Lena felt her heart start to race and knew Kara must have been able to hear it to.

“I wanted to explain, about the bracelet.” She clarified.

Lena swallowed but nodded, still wondering if Kara would make her confession. Strong hands reached out softly to her wrist and Lena gave it easily. Kara turned the bracelet so that the clasp caught the light.

“The symbol here- my symbol- you know it’s my House crest… On Krypton, upholding the status of your House name was very important in our culture. To give a token that displayed your House crest was one of the greatest ways you could honor another. It symbolized your willingness to stake the future and reputation of your House on that individual. And by accepting the token, that person would, in turn, honor your House by adding their prestige to your House name…” Kara continued to hold Lena’s wrist in a soft grip but she looked up from the bracelet to meet shining green eyes.

“The House of El is native to Krypton, although it has now emigrated to Earth by myself and my cousin Kal-El. For generations its members upheld the public good through leadership and service, here on Earth they seek to do the same. The motto of the House of El is _‘el mayarah’_ meaning _‘stronger together’_. It is my belief that the House of El would indeed be strengthened by the addition of your merits and character, Lena Luthor. It would greatly honor me, and the House of my heritage, if you would accept this token…”

The reverence alone in Kara’s voice left Lena speechless. She struggled for words that would accurately describe how utterly humble she felt in this moment. Kara was sharing a part of her true home with her.

“I am both humbled and honored to accept this token.” Lena answered, voice somewhat shaky with emotion although she’d tried to reign it in.

Kara positively beamed and Lena captured the moment in her memory. And maybe she was truly exhausted like Alex had said, or maybe it was just the way that the moonlight was reflecting off golden locks, or the face of utter happiness that was beaming down at her… but Lena felt the urge rising in her stronger than she’d ever felt.

_Tell her. Tell her now! Tell her you know... Tell her everything, she must feel the same. She has to feel the same…_

And her mouth opened of its own accord, drawing in a preparatory breath.

Suddenly Kara’s eyes broke from hers, looking out to the city. Her body stiffened in that way it did when Alex called for her through her earpiece. A second later the shrill wailing of police sirens could be heard making their way through the city. Lena swallowed the breath she’d been holding. She knew what came next.

“I have to…” Kara looked back to her.

“Of course. You’re needed out there. Go. Be a hero.” Lena smiled as Kara’s eyes glowed at her comment. The hero flashed a brilliant grin and lifted off from the balcony. Streaking away into the night. Lena remained on the balcony, gathering her whirlwind of thoughts. Her eyes continued watching the blur that zipped towards and among the stars until she could no longer see a hint of that red cape. Only then did she step back into her apartment, contemplating what had just occurred.

 _A moment of weakness._ _That’s all. It’s passed now. You promised, Luthor. You swore that you would carry the burden. It’s not your secret to tell._ She reminded herself almost furiously.

As it had since she’d discovered Supergirl’s true identity, that nagging whisper of worry crawled its way into her heart. She knew she shouldn’t… it would only make her worry more… but in the end she couldn’t resist the not knowing. She dropped her purse on the kitchen island and made her way to stand in the middle of her living room, flipping through the channels until she landed on a news station that was caught up with the events.

"-reporting live from downtown National City where a fleet of drones have launched an attack on several businesses here. The motive appears to be robbery as so far the machines have targeted a jewelry store, a bank, and now appear to be congregating around a shopping mall still full of civilians.” The news anchor . In the background of the shot Lena saw a flash that could only be Supergirl flying in to save the day- or night, as it were.

Lena felt her shoulders relax.

_Drones. She can handle drones. Drones are child’s play, they don’t even seem that sophisticated._

But still she stood, arms crossed, teeth sank into her lower lip, and watched.

“And Supergirl has arrived!” The cameraman panned to capture the action as Kara began taking out the drones one by one, easily, as if she wasn’t even breaking a sweat.

“But I’m just getting news, apparently there has been a sighting of more drones on the other end of the city now and- and yet another sighting on the west side as well! Again the reports are coming in as robberies. So far no civilians have been hurt but- and it looks like Supergirl has also received the news!” The Kryptonian was soaring away, leaving a pile of steaming broken drones in the parking lot next to an official looking black van.

 _No doubt the DEO ready to clean up the event._ Lena mused.

She flipped to other news channels, finding one that had setup their coverage on the other end of the city. They were repeating the same story the first news anchor had given and showing footage of the drones as they circled the building of a small business. Suddenly somewhere in the back of Lena’s mind, there was another nagging voice. Not worry this time. Remembrance. It pricked at the back of her neck and drove her to pause the news the next time the camera panned to show the drones. She studied the machine. Although the picture was slightly blurred, Lena’s eidetic memory rushed to redefine the fuzzy image. She’d seen the design before. It was an exact replica. She was certain of it.

 _That’s Obsidian North tech…_

Lena turned and made her way to the kitchen island where she’d left her cell phone, thinking Alex would appreciate the heads up as to the origin of the drone design. It didn’t make sense to her that Andrea would use the drones like this. Rojas was one of the richest CEOs in the country, breathing down Lena’s neck from her spot behind her on the Forbes 500 list three years in a row.

_No, this wasn’t Andrea’s doing. But maybe a disgruntled employee? Someone with a grudge and looking to frame her perhaps?_

She stopped pondering the possibilities as she realized the island counter was bare.

 _I left it right here. I know I did…_ She brushed her hand on the cold marble where she’d last seen her purse.

“My, my… Supergirl certainly seems busy tonight.”

The icy chill up her spine was colder than the marble she was touching. She knew that voice. Knew what she would find when she turned around. She just didn’t understand how it was possible.

“Lex…” She turned, reaching for her wrist and gripping the clasp of her bracelet tightly.

Despite her disbelief, there stood her adoptive brother. Looking remarkably free and well-dressed for a man who was supposed to be in prison. He stood, turning from the TV to meet her gaze. He wore a designer suit with a dark green tie perfectly knotted and straight.

“Ah, ah, ah. I wouldn’t do that.” His gaze dropped to her wrist and Lena froze further. “From what I understand, you pull that chain and Supergirl comes charging to the rescue…” He muses, casually reaching inside his suit jacket and retrieving a small discrete looking cylinder. “But who would come to her rescue?” He quirked a brow, twirling the object with sinister glee. “See this here is my most recent project, a kryptonite radiation emitter ten times as powerful as that little gun you made some time ago… And _your project_ … well it’s not quite finished yet, is it? Wouldn’t want Supergirl bursting in here without that special new suit of hers, would you?”

Her blood turned to ice in her veins as her stomach dropped.

 _How?! How did he know?_ Lena was stunned but did her best not to show it.

“What? No welcoming words for your brother? I know you must be just burning with curiosity about how I got out of prison?”

The raven-haired woman fought to quell her rising panic. She needed a clear head. Releasing a slow quiet breath, she mimicked Lex’s confident posture. Broadening her shoulders and releasing her hold on the bracelet. Lena projected all the self-confidence she could garner.

“And suffer the lecture you would give me about idolizing your accomplishments? No thank you. What did you come for Lex? Let’s get right to the point shall we? The faster we get this over with, the faster you’ll be back behind bars.” She snapped.

Lex’s eyebrows rose almost in surprise.

“Have you no love for me anymore, dearest sister?” Lex spread his arms.

“Despite everything you’ve done. All the lives you’ve destroyed. You’ll always be my brother… But I know the only reason you’ve broken out of prison is to continue your war against Kryptonians. And I can’t let that happen. I _won’t_ let that happen.” Lena crossed her arms in finality.

“That’s very touching. And disappointing. But most of all, I find it amusing. You thinking that you can stop me that is. I thought it’d been well established by now that you’re always a step behind. Never could measure up, could you?”

“Oh, I don’t know about that. I was capable enough to put you behind bars last time. This time won’t be any different.” She shrugged one shoulder.

“Yes, you have quite the pesky habit of interfering… Which is why I’m here now. And why you’ll be coming with me.” Lex reached into his pants pocket and tossed something her way.

She caught it out of instinct and found a tiny screwdriver with a magnet attached in the palm of her hand.

“Take the tracker off.” He instructed as casually as if he had asked how her day had been.

“I don’t know how-“

“Don’t give me that. You’re a smart girl, Lena. You expect me to believe you’ve let that _handcuff_ sit on your wrist and you didn’t give a second thought as to how to slip out of it?” He shook his head.

Lena said nothing. He was right. She had thought about it. Purely out of curiosity is what she told herself, but partly out of spite as well. And Lex had just tossed her the only tools she’d need to do the job. Which begged the question: _how did he know how to get it off? How did he know it even existed?_

“Either you deactivate it or I’ll yank it off and we can time how long the Kryptonian has left to live as she flies in.”

_If he wanted Supergirl dead he could have done it already… That’s not what he wants… He’s here for me. Why?_

Another query made itself known.

_Why does it matter? He just gave you an option to leave Kara unharmed, take it!_

She looked down again at the tools in her hand, recalling the promise she’d made… the lie she’d told.

_I’m sorry, Kara but it looks like harm’s way is the only way on this one._

She pressed the magnet against the clasp and waited. A shrill beeping sounded and she worked quickly then to unscrew the clasp. Winn had focused the majority of his efforts on encrypting the signal for the transmitter, but he’d neglected to protect the weakest aspect, which was the bracelet clasp itself. She’d realized this on the third day of wearing it. She freed herself from the jewelry and quickly replaced the clasp before removing the magnet. The beeping ceased and she looked up to Lex who wore a satisfied smile.

“Knew you had it in you, sis.” He winked and held out his hand expectantly.

Lena held her ground. Holding the bracelet herself was her only reassurance that he wouldn’t call for Supergirl with it. She tossed him the screwdriver and magnet instead which he caught before letting them drop to the floor with disinterest.

“Lena, must you always be so difficult?” Lex snapped his fingers.

There was no warning before a pair of arms wrapped around Lena from behind, trapping her arms as a cloth was placed over her mouth and nose. Instinctively she began to struggle but the arms that held her were strong. Too strong. If she didn’t recognize that the arms that held her were male, she would have wondered if it was Kara standing behind her. She held her breath, resisting inhaling the chemical solution that covered the rag. She thrashed, trying to break the hold over her face but the unseen assailant wrenched her head back painfully, trapping it against his shoulder. In her panic she managed to catch her bracelet between the very tips of her fingers. She locked eyes with Lex, who held his detonating device a bit higher. Having had no warning she hadn’t been able to draw a full breath before the rag had descended on her. Already her lungs craved air, begging her to suck in a gasping breath. She gripped the bracelet tighter but didn’t take her eyes off the remote. She could still break the chain one handed…

_No… I can’t… She can’t withstand that blast and just because he hasn’t tried to kill her yet doesn’t mean he wouldn’t pass up the opportunity if it presented itself._

Her mind raced. Desperately calculating her options as Lex stepped closer. She shouted pointlessly against the cloth on her mouth, catching a whiff of the sickening sweet scent of the rag. The combination of a lack of oxygen and the chloroform had the edges of her vision dimming.

She mournfully registered the bracelet being pried from her fingertips.

“Boris, take this piece of junk to a pawn shop will you?” Lex ordered, tossing the bracelet somewhere behind Lena to what must have been a second thug. Her brother leaned in close then. She could feel the heat in her cheeks as her face was no doubt turning a deep red with the effort of holding her breath.

“You’re only making it harder on yourself, Lena. No way out here. Even if you force yourself to pass out your body will take over your breathing. Nice deep breath now…”

And she couldn’t fight it any longer. Her lungs were on fire. Her mouth opened against her protest and she sucked in a heaving breath.

“There’s a good girl.”

The darkness crashed in and Lena, seeking an escape from her agony, welcomed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ope...  
> Oh and Happy Thanksgiving to whom it may apply. And when I say Happy Thanksgiving I mean Happy Day of Gathering and Being Thankful for Family and Friends… I do not condone the actions of pilgrim colonizers. Hope you’re all staying safe :)

**Author's Note:**

> So there's the first chapter, I have at least a few more drawn out so if anyone is interested lmk :)


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